Blood donations in Chicagoland are not handled by the Red Cross, for some reason. Instead, it’s done by this outfit called “Lifesource.” They manage to place three calls per day when your 8-weeks-between-donations period runs out; thus, in order to avoid annoyance (and be a helpful little citizen), I popped in this morning.

They have teevees and such while you sit in the chair. And being Saturday morning, cartoons were on.  And they were GOD AWFUL. Each of the nets, of course, have managed it so that it is a roadblock — no winners, only losers, in the Q-rating, profit-per-minute game — of pure, undiluted drivel.

Federally-approved drivel, no less — the E/I bug in the corner demonstrates that there is a moral to the story… which kids will not get, because the stories are stupid. Race-car driving dogs. Penguins in space.  And other assorted CGI nightmares.  (And then there’s this — if you stick around for the credits, you will notice that each cartoon was produced with a lot of tax-credit money… from the Canadian Government (or provincial authorities).  So we have to import our ostensibly-educational cartoons.)

Three things are required in this country to Make Everything Better — an end to the Teabaggers, a boycott of the NCAA tournament if they go to a 96-team field (God damn… what a horrible idea that is), and BUGS BUNNY AND OLD-SCHOOL CARTOON VIOLENCE ON SATURDAY MORNINGS.  An example of which, thankfully, follows:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKKs_-xYQRM

ESTRAGON: You’re sure it was this evening?

VLADIMIR: What?

ESTRAGON: That we were to wait.

VLADIMIR: He said Saturday. I think.

ESTRAGON: You think.

VLADIMIR: I must have made a note of it.

ESTRAGON: But what Saturday? And is it Saturday? Is it not rather Sunday? Or Monday? Or Friday?

VLADIMIR: It’s not possible!

Why I won’t buy an iPad (and think you shouldn’t, either) [Boing Boing]

So, how does our new CNN contributor feel about the Census long form, the “American Community Survey”?

Erick Erickson, yesterday:

What gives the Commerce Department the right to ask me how often I flush my toilet? Or about going to work? I’m not filling out this form. I dare them to try and come throw me in jail. I dare them to. Pull out my wife’s shotgun and see how that little ACS twerp likes being scared at the door. They’re not going on my property. They can’t do that. They don’t have the legal right, and yet they’re trying.

Erick Erickson, today:

Naturally the left is out today saying I was on the air advocating killing census workers.

Nothing of the sort, of course. Erick’s only advocating threatening to kill Census workers.

[via ThinkProgress]

Today’s report from the New York Times:

A senior Vatican priest speaking at a Good Friday service compared the uproar over sexual abuse scandals in the Catholic Church — which have included reports about Pope Benedict XVI’s oversight role in two cases — to the persecution of the Jews, sharply raising the volume in the Vatican’s counterattack.

Today’s retort from Rome:

Noted Italian exorcist Father Gabriele Amorth, commented this week that the recent defamatory reporting on Pope Benedict XVI, especially by the New York Times, was “prompted by the devil.”

Now that Tiger dropped Ari Fleischer, did the Vatican hire him?

At Vatican Service, Persecution of Jews Is Invoked [NYT]

Satan behind media attacks on the Pope, asserts Italian exorcist [Catholic News Agency]

“The family bank of Democratic Senate candidate Alexi Giannoulias loaned a pair of Chicago crime figures about $20 million during a 14-month period when Giannoulias was a senior loan officer… Although both men were preparing to serve federal prison terms, the bank embarked on a series of loans to them.” [Chicago Tribune, via Political Wire]

Or, Dick Move by Dick Doctor:

“I’m not turning anybody away — that would be unethical,” Dr. Jack Cassell, 56, a Mount Dora urologist and a registered Republican opposed to the health plan, told the Orlando Sentinel on Thursday. “But if they read the sign and turn the other way, so be it.”

Just out of curiosity: Did Dr. Cassell use government-subsidized student loans to help pay for medical school? Did his medical school benefit from government grants?

Doctor tells Obama supporters: Go elsewhere for health care [Orlando Sentinel]

• Enlighten a barrel of monkeys.
• Taunt your iPhone with its superior networking.
• Drop acid and stare through a kaleidoscope.
• Send one anonymously to each member of Congress, just to see what the fuck happens.
• Paste a Calvin-peeing sticker on it.
• Poke it in the eye.
• Ask it about the damn baby.
• Complain that it doesn’t play Flash.
• Accuse it of sleeping with your Death Star.
• Film another crappy sequel.

Monolith Action Figure [ThinkGeek, via Daring Fireball]