The Palin family continues its quest to be the real-life version of The Aristocrats:

Bristol Palin is hitting the speakers’ circuit and will command between $15,000 and $30,000 for each appearance, Palin family attorney Thomas Van Flein said Monday.

Van Flein confirmed a report by celebrity news website RadarOnline that the daughter of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has signed with Single Source Speakers. He added her exact fees will depend on factors such as which group she’s addressing and what she must to do prepare.

Bristol Palin, 19, is listed on the speaking group’s website as available for conferences, fundraisers, special events and holidays, as well as women’s, youth, abstinence and “pro-life” programs.

Remember, kids, practice safe sex and wait until marriage, lest you end up like Bristol Palin, a wealthy celebrity who will never have to work a day in her life.

Bristol Palin to hit speakers’ circuit [AP, via Political Wire]

Michelle Malkin on the GOP Crapweasel Club: “Yep, it’s time again for my upside-down elephant again. Just when CT Democrat Attorney General Richard Blumenthal’s Vietnam fables should be front and center political news, here’s a creepy Republican to steal the ignominious spotlight… Seriously, can these losers stop yammering about God when they’re caught?”

It’s a busy morning here at the Stinque Department of Lady-Bits, what with all the Congressional Republican sex-related stories breaking out.  We now move from the Hoosier State to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

Jeffrey Perry, who is running in the Republican primary for Massachusetts’ 10th Congressional District, was involved in two cases in Wareham the mid-90s as a police sergeant in which young teen girls were inappropriately and illegally strip-searched, according to the Boston Globe.

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Arch-conservative family values Congressman Mark Souder, elected in the 1994 Gingrich revolution, will be resigning today in light of the disclosure that he has been having an affair with an aide.  Sources are standing by to determine if the aide is a dead woman or a live boy.

[Politico]

We never cease to be amused at Christians who can’t conceive of how we survive without their deity watching over us. Surely we’re fooling ourselves, living an ersatz form of religion without the trappings. Surely we can’t maintain a coherent form of ethics without the Yahweh Seal of Approval. Surely we don’t mean it.

Actually, we don’t. Doesn’t come up that often, really. Only when we encounter proselytizers at our front door. Or when Sully decides to start a campaign:

If I may intrude, and ask a question I do not mean to be loaded, just curious: I wonder what Kevin thinks happens to him when he dies? And how does he feel about that — not just emotionally but existentially? These questions can be addressed without talking of God. And yet they reveal something about what it is to be human.

We won’t presume to speak for Kevin Drum, and as a rule we resent Professional Atheists, so we won’t presume to speak for the Godless Cabal either, although we’ll show you the secret handshake if you buy us a pint. But to address Sully’s first question, here’s what happens when you die:

You cease to exist.

We know, we know — fucking waste of an advanced philosophy degree.

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Justice John Paul Stevens, king of the cranky-pants dissents, today writes a concurrence in Graham v. Florida for the sole purpose of bitch-slapping Justice Clarence Thomas.  The ladies of SCOTUS joined him in the pile-on.

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