I Was Knocked Up By Levi Johnston, and All I Got Was This Lousy $30,000 Speaking Fee

The Palin family continues its quest to be the real-life version of The Aristocrats:

Bristol Palin is hitting the speakers’ circuit and will command between $15,000 and $30,000 for each appearance, Palin family attorney Thomas Van Flein said Monday.

Van Flein confirmed a report by celebrity news website RadarOnline that the daughter of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has signed with Single Source Speakers. He added her exact fees will depend on factors such as which group she’s addressing and what she must to do prepare.

Bristol Palin, 19, is listed on the speaking group’s website as available for conferences, fundraisers, special events and holidays, as well as women’s, youth, abstinence and “pro-life” programs.

Remember, kids, practice safe sex and wait until marriage, lest you end up like Bristol Palin, a wealthy celebrity who will never have to work a day in her life.