The Onion on the NYT on Foursquare:

“Foursquare is a little bit of everything — a friend-finder, a local city guide, an interactive mobile game,” said company cofounder Dennis Crowley, as if reading from the same tired script used by every one of these Web 2.0 or whatever-the-fuck-they’re-called startups. “But more than that, Foursquare is an [endless string of meaningless buzzwords we just couldn’t bring ourselves to transcribe].”

Added Crowley, “[Who gives a shit].”

Actually, we’re just jealous we can’t blithely spout geek marketing jargon to Silicon Valley venture capitalists. Edwin Newman fucked us up for life.

New Social Networking Site Changing The Way Oh, Christ, Forget It [The Onion]

You saw the Dale Peterson, douchebag of the day ad, right here on Stinque. Well, here’s the only possible response to such nonsense… a brilliant parody:

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Now this Dale Peterson I’d vote for!

Title: “George Washington’s Sacred Fire”

Author: Peter A. Lillback, President of the Westminster Theological Seminary

Rank: 1

Blurb: “Dr. Lillback paints a picture of a man, who, faced with unprecedented challenges and circumstances, ultimately drew upon his persistent qualities of character — honesty, justice, equity, perseverence, piety, forgiveness, humility, and servant leadership, to become one of the most revered figures in world history.”

Review: Buckle up…

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“[Nevada] election officials on Friday added chicken suits to the list of banned items after weeks of ridicule directed at Republican Senate candidate Sue Lowden… Under the new rule, chicken costumes will be banned along with political buttons, shirts, hats and signs within 100 feet of polling places.” [AP/MSNBC, via PourMeCoffee]

We’re having a hard time telling the difference between blind faith in private property and blind faith in free markets. Especially since both have proven apocalyptically disastrous.

Defending Rand Paul, Part II [Dave Weigel/WaPo]

In 2008 when his father Ron was running for the GOP nomination for President, Rand(al) Paul went campaigning for dear old dad in Montana, where he expounded upon his fear that there was a conspiracy to create a shared currency of an “Amero” for all of North America, as well as a “NAFTA Superhighway” that would connect Mexico, the U.S., and Canada and destroy our national identity.

There is no NAFTA Superhighway, but the conspiracy theory is widely shared by nationalist wingnuts. Newsweek described the conspiracy theory as “a strange stew of fact and fiction, fired by paranoia” popularized by Jerome Corsi, the man who led the Swift Boat attacks on John Kerry in 2004.

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Thirty years ago today, The Empire Strikes Back opened, and the world was blissfully unaware of Ewoks.