Our guest columnist is Bob Morris, Republican representative for the Great State of Indiana, who would like to take back the nasty things he said about Girl Scouts and say some other nasty things instead.

After reflecting on the letter I wrote on February 18, 2012 to my fellow Indiana Republican Representatives, I realize now that my words were emotional, reactionary, and inflammatory. For that I sincerely apologize. I apologize to the Girl Scouts of Indiana and all of the girls and parents of Indiana who are participating in and running their Girl Scout organizations in a way that promotes leadership, community involvement and family values. I certainly should not have painted the entire Girl Scouts organization with such a wide brush.

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“We’ve been culturally watered down to think we have to teach about sex, about having sex and how to get away with it, which is intellectually dishonest. Why don’t we just be honest with them upfront that sex outside marriage is devastating?” —Utah Republican Bill Wright, sponsor of an anti-sex ed bill that passed the state house Wednesday. [Salt Lake Tribune, via @pourmecoffee]

“[Marco] Rubio was baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints with his family at around the age of eight, and remained active in the faith for a number of years during his early youth, family members told BuzzFeed.” [via Political Wire]

We don’t know whether the Great State of Arizona actually paid for the two spots that aired during last night’s debate, but they seemed to be more than the home-team freebies we’ve seen before. And while the first commercial started as a distant echo of California’s celebrity-infested travel ads, it ended with a conclusive demonstration of why only movie-star governors can get away with acting like, well, movie stars.

Yes, we know, the event is in Arizona. But Arizona’s winner-take-all, and all the action’s in Michigan. So with that pitiful excuse for a premise, we welcome you to our new-model GOP Debate Open Thread/Crash Test. We’re illustrating it with the notorious Mustang II, because like the candidates, it’s a pale imitation of the original.

Who knew Mormons could be fun? Forget the fag bashing, now’s the time to get John Smith on the pink team. (Like he wasn’t there already. Sure you got pebble glasses in your hat, queer boy. Forget the Meadow Mountain Massacre look what I got goin’ on in my breeches. Oh yeah it’s big. Hey, moroni, get your honeybee on this, bitch)

Right: Example of magic undies. Provided by Prior Brad reaching out to the Franch.

Homosexuals baptise Mormons. (I know! Is this fun or what?)

“People who constantly reach into a pocket to check a smartphone for bits of information will soon have another option: a pair of Google-made glasses that will be able to stream information to the wearer’s eyeballs in real time.” [NYT]