Pining for the Fords

Yes, we know, the event is in Arizona. But Arizona’s winner-take-all, and all the action’s in Michigan. So with that pitiful excuse for a premise, we welcome you to our new-model GOP Debate Open Thread/Crash Test. We’re illustrating it with the notorious Mustang II, because like the candidates, it’s a pale imitation of the original.


“Erin Burnett OutFront”? Really?

“Discover Arizona” ad features Jan Brewer, who’s no Governator.

I’ve got CNN on my computer. Newt hasn’t lost any weight lately. Wait, I have to stand up at work to hear the Star Spangled Banner? I don’t think so.

Mitt just referenced George Costanza. Which makes sense, given that his candidacy is about nothing.

$2.50/gallon gasoline? Newt, even you couldn’t really believe that.

Davis-Bacon? How many listeners know what that is? Something at Burger King?

Yes, yes, yes… Come on, get to contraception. That’s what we’re all tuning in for.

@Dodgerblue: Well, see, if we open up new areas to drilling, and ignore world oil demand, it just might work.

Paul is in full rant already. Awesome.

@Dodgerblue: Yes, but he forgot to accuse Frothy of voting for Medicare Part D.

Also, Frothy needs to point out that Dr. Evol somehow gets all those earmarks into spending bills he votes against.

Mitt: “If you don’t balance your budget, you go out of business.” And then you get your consulting fee.

@Dodgerblue: I want to see fields of embryos with an Aaron Copland soundtrack.

Frothy calls out Bush and Cheney as pussies on the B-22 Osprey.

This extended discussion of earmarks requires a song in cartoon form.

@nojo: And, Frothy finally gets in the Dr. Evol earmark jab.

Newt: “This is one of those easy, demogogic fights that gets you into a lot of trouble.” Of which he’s a past master.

All banks would collapse. But markets work!


Newt expresses undying support of German and Japanese automakers.

Union bashing, love to bondholders. Guys, who makes the cars that the auto companies sell to make profits to pay to the bondholders?

@Dodgerblue: And the classic apocryphal line: GM Prez shows robots to UAW. “We don’t need you to build our cars.” Response: “And who will buy them?”

Birth control! Go!

(Audience boos…)

Newt accuses Obama of “legalized infanticide”. It’s on!

Romney picking up the freedom of religion ball. Pander-o-meter is soaring.

Frothy raises the problem of “when children have children”. Hmmm… Wonder what the solution might be?

Paul: birth control pills are like guns?

@Dodgerblue: It almost makes sense. He’s saying the Pill doesn’t “cause” immorality.

Romney, “certain ethnic groups,” kids in “abusive settings.” Handlers freaking out?

@nojo: I got that, but the Pill doesn’t kill anybody. Unless you believe that . . . .

@Dodgerblue: True, but there’s a valid point buried under the comparison. The problem is not our Pills, but Ourselves.

You can certainly disagree that that’s a “problem” at all. But he’s targeting behavior, not means.

Memo to Frothy: Abstinence doesn’t work.

Paul: the feds should not fund abstinence education either. He’s consistent — in a wacked out way.

This isn’t a debate. It’s a blog flamewar.

Santorum gets whiny on defense. Note: look at some tape of former Laker Michael Cooper play defense. that’s how it’s done.

John King’s a spoilsport. I wanted them to spend another ten minutes arguing over Arlen Specter.

Deranger Rick is sitting next to Callista in the audience. Can’t see his hands.

We now enter the SB 1070 part of our presentation, wherein businesses are required to follow governmental mandates about checking the citizenship of employees.

The question not asked: What about Obama’s record deportations?

Boot the “illegals” unless they are my housemaids and gardeners.

@Dodgerblue: Corporations are people, but the only kind of people who should check for documentation.

Friend in high school had a Mustang II – biggest piece of shit I’ve ever driven.

Some of these Echo Chamber questions and answers will be interesting when Obama’s in the room.

@blogenfreude: I know shit about cars, and even I know that.

Gawd, there’s that Jan Brewer Discover Arizona commercial again. I may have to find it for the morning.

Romney: women can serve in the military — but can’t be trusted with their own bodies. this guy could lose all 50 states.

@nojo: Four, six, and eight cylinder engines – that car had the V8, and it was still underpowered.

And candidates, when you address the question of women in the military, please use Israel as a comparison.

Dr. Evol mentions draft registration — thanks, Jimmy!

(Full disclosure: I fell in the gap between the Draft and Registration. Must have been because I was voting age at the time.)

@nojo: Newt: I’m smarter than our generals. I believe dictators.

I’m going home.

Mitt connects Iranian “fissile materials” to dirty bombs crossing the border from South America.

Mitt: If we reelect Obama, you can kiss L.A. goodbye.

Oh, wait. I’m in Sandy Eggo. Shouldn’t I be scared shitless?

Frothy: We need to give pro-democracy Iranians the kiss of death by declaring our support for them.

Dr. Evol: “If you look at a map of Iran…”

America tunes out.

Frothy calls Obama “timid” on foreign affairs. Good luck with that line during the General.

Mitt: Syria is Iran’s “route to the sea”. Not including the Arabian.

Frothy, defending his vote for No Child Left Behind: “Politics is a team sport.”

Final commercial break. No YouTube moments, no decisive exchanges. It’s a wash. Although I really want to hear more about Arlen Specter.

Mittens: “You get to ask the questions you want. I get to give the answers I want.”

I’ve lived through that as a reporter. Hello, Les AuCoin!

And, scene! John King’s been saying that this might be the last Republican debate. I hope to God he’s right.

The most burning question for me? Why neither of the “devout” Catholics candidates had ashes on their foreheads. I’m especially disappointed in Frothy–I expected the entire brood to be there bearing smudges.

@nojo: I disagree. It helps get the word out to the illiterate masses and couch potatoes what a bunch of fucking morons these people are. I just won’t waste my time watching any of it.

I’m just so proud of our dear leader plus el Dodge. You went where no one else would on account of the boredom factor. You sat drinking beer while our Preznidential Pretenders got Preznidential all over themselves. Bravo. I couldn’t watch it on account of the horror.

@Dodgerblue: “Five Ways Rick Santorum Blew It in Arizona”? TPM must be spending its Andreeson investment on SEO training.

@Mistress Cynica: OMG, I was wondering that myself. I can tell I work with a bunch of heathens (or overworked people) because nobody had ashes this morning. Every job I’ve had before this one has had at least one or two people show up with ashes.

Re: the Mustang II, the sentiment at the time was that the Mustang was becoming too bloated, and the automaker didn’t want it to mimic the hot mess that the Thunderbird’s design had become. Unfortunately, this all took place in the mid-70s, when the Big Three were at rock bottom in terms of QC and design sensibility.

The re-re-design in 1978 put the Mustang back on track to being a beefy vehicle with nods to the original Iacocca concept. It wasn’t perfect, but a step in the right direction.

@Dodgerblue: New headline: “Santorum Gets Stopped Up in Arizona”

@Benedick: an apt description. the horror. or as brando says the hooooorr…(sounding like wind echoing through a deep dark cave)……..or.
i wanted to tear my teeth out
a diamond bullet right through my forehead
horror and moral terror are your friends
there is nothing i detest more than the stench of lies
brando so aptly describes all things teapublican’t.

@matador1015: mustang 2, according to the drive by truckers:
nobody kept ’em any longer than they did a pair of shoes,
they kept showing up on every used car lot in town
v8 on a go cart
easy terms, no money down
just like the teapublican’t debate except for the no money down part.

@Mistress Cynica: And if anyone raises the point, the devout Catholic candidates will shrug helplessly and say something about either their handlers, or their makeup people. “I totally wanted to, but Juan threw a fit, and you can’t thwart those people. National TV! He threatened to use Boehner-orange foundation!”

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