The Secretary of State of These United States casts the Interwebs into a Cosmic Vortex by contributing to her own meme, only part of which we’re revealing here, at least until WikiLeaks gets ahold of it. Adam Smith and Stacy Lambe are the merry pranksters responsible for rehabilitating her reputation.

A submission from Secretary Hillary Clinton [Texts from Hillary, via TPM]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7GzApUGJ3o

We were sitting on this for an opportune moment when we could deploy it as a Clever Metaphor for Something. Now seems as good a moment as any.

[via Wired]

Rick Santorum is suspending his campaign.

We tuned in late, but Frothy is surrounded by three gals and a dude. We’re not sure whether one of the gals is Crying Daughter.

Frothy is speaking from Gettysburg, but he’s using more than 270 words.

The More You Know: The sweater vests were Made in America.

Frothy thanks God for the “miracle” of his campaign. (We were going to say “miracle of his race”, but that didn’t sound right…)

“We were able to spread that message far and wide.” Oh, yeah.

Give it time… Give it time… Give it time… There.

[via Know Your Meme]

Welcome to TheRealGeorgeZimmerman.com, a new website where you can express your support for The Real George Zimmerman, who has “been forced to leave my home, my school, my employer, my family and ultimately, my entire life,” just like the kid The Real George Zimmerman killed, except for the fact that The Real George Zimmerman is still alive.

Our tour begins with an American flag in the background, signifiying that shooting unarmed kids is nothing more than a selfless patriotic act.

Read more »

So, guess who has got himself a Swiss bank account?

This race is gonna be sooooooo much fun!

“My white guilt died on Good Friday, April 6, 2012. That was the day my bike got stolen.” [Daily Caller]