Frankly, my dear…

He keeps his cojones there in a safe deposit box.

@Dodgerblue:
Or the soul of his atheist father in law?

We all have swiss bank accounts. No? I just moved mine from Banque Suisse to Suisse Banque.

@Dodgerblue: He was neutered when he went through the temple.

@ManchuCandidate: Wait. What? Anyway, dude’s been dead dunked by now.

That’s some not so bad photoshop, there.

What an arriviste asshole. Real plutocrats keep their loot in banks on the Isle of Man.

@FlyingChainSaw: WTF is that? The Isle of White?

@FlyingChainSaw: And here I was thinking, literally within the past half-hour, Where’s Chainsaw been lately?

I’ll politely ask you only once to please remove the chip from my brain.

T/J, but only slightly: Justice Scalia is teaching a class at USC School of Law tomorrow. My dog passed away last year, so I can’t bring a sock of dog poop to his class.

@Dodgerblue: Pitch a shoe at his noggin’

TJ: You know what pushes a Monday from the Shitty column to the Craptacular column? Getting rear-ended on your way home by a dingbat texting away on her cell phone, who doesn’t look up until she makes contact with your stopped car (I helplessly watched in my rear view mirror at her looking down at her lap and going 30 mph as all cars on the road – including mine – were at a standstill). On the plus side, my old reliable car is fine except for some minor damage while her little cute car is missing a front end and has a trashed radiator, and our accident got mentioned not once but twice on KQED traffic reports. On the minus side, my back and head feel like crap and I will have to spend the next week dealing with car insurance companies. Based on past experiences getting them playing sports, I think I have a mild concussion.
I’m passing for white: You used to take x-rays, at what point do I sashay over to the urgent (not quite emergency care)? And what the hell can they do? Take an X-ray? MRI? /off to Google concussion

@FlyingChainSaw: Haaai, long time no see! Did my email to you last week push you out of the shadows?

@SanFranLefty: Per my handy copy of Wilderness 911, a head injury with no loss of consciousness is generally not too serious, unless you have a headache that gets worse, you gradually lose consciousness, you start acting weird, you experience projectile vomiting, one pupil gets really big, you get a nosebleed or clear fluid leaks from your nose or ears, you see bruising around both eyes or behind the ears not caused by a blow to those areas or if you have a seizure.

ADD: My NOLS Wilderness First Aid book says the main thing to watch for are changes in level of consciousness or behavior. Have Mr. Lefty keep a close eye on you and don’t go all Natasha Richardson on us.

@redmanlaw: “you gradually lose consciousness, you start acting weird, you experience projectile vomiting, one pupil gets really big, you get a nosebleed or clear fluid leaks from your nose or ears….”

We call that Saturday night around here.

Srsly. I’m probably going to sit up all night for fear of being sleepy. I’ve been checking my eyes out all evening. Usually “changes in level of consciousness or behavior” are accompanied by me consuming an Ambien, so I’ll give Mr. SFL the heads (so to speak) up.

@SanFranLefty: “We call that Saturday night around here. ” /rimshot!

@redmanlaw: I’m here all night. Tip the veal, try the waitress.

Here all night until I freak myself out and take off for SF General or the Kaiser on Geary, as I can’t cross the picket line at the hospital closest to my home.

@I’m passing for white: Not far. Isle of Man is in the Irish sea between England and Northern Island. UK protectorate with long tradition in bank secrecy. Real hot money bad-asses, however, can be found in Vanuatu.

@nojo: Seriously, a lot of people are freaked out by phone calls from me on a regular basis at almost exactly times when they’ve been thinking about me or, more precisely, things I need to attend to for them. Who needs technology when you have usable psychic powers.

@SanFranLefty: So sorry about your car trauma–I’m glad you’re OK. And hey, diazepam! Just mention to the ER doc that you’re having anxiety, muscle spasms, seizures, and agitation caused by alcohol withdrawal. Prince Valium to the rescue!

@SanFranLefty: SFL. Go to the hospital now. I am working with a concussion specialist and her experience with it tells me, screams at me, that you should not be waiting for a text from God to get those pictures taken immediately. Please tell spouse he is taking you to the daktari house now.

No, I haven’t had a chance to look at non-work email in a while.

@FlyingChainSaw: So I should go and say what ¡Andrew! told me to say?

Honestly, hand on Barry Hussein Obama’s Koran (mmm, hmm, that’s what I’m going to call it, his “koran”), I’m actually feeling a lot better. Could be that I finally had something to eat for the first time in 10 hours, the adrenaline is draining, and am chilling out. Mr. SFL, OTOH, is not so chill and checking in on me regularly. Regardless of why you’re here, whether it was my email or Nojo’s bat-signal, glad to see you here again. Don’t be a stranger, our friend.

@FlyingChainSaw: I’m glad you said that.

@SanFranLefty: You need to go now and run the drills they have in hand for people who’ve gone through trauma like yours. This stuff is cumulative for SportsActive types like yourself. I am not making this up. My source is a head trauma expert who works with the NFL and state boxing commissions. Text from the ER. Please.

@redmanlaw: I’m honor bound, knowing what I know.

@FlyingChainSaw: And you’re right about the cumulative effect of concussion, which can be caused by rapid acceleration – deceleration.

@SanFranLefty: Listen to Chainsaw. He knows what’s best. Srsly, do not fuck around with this. You’ll be sitting up worrying anyway, might as well do it at the urgent care.

@redmanlaw: Working on this project has been an eye-opener. I can’t understand why boxing is licensed any more given what clinicians know technically and experientially from cases they’ve handled. Punching another human being is satisfying but real bad-asses could make contest distance-throwing Toyotas or something.

@FlyingChainSaw: Almost everybody I see at ski areas wears a helmet now. I started wearing one to get Son of RML to wear his when he took up snowboarding.

@redmanlaw: Great. They should make versions with antlers for added badness.

@SanFranLefty: What Saw, RML and others said – get thee there, stat. Prolly not a concussion, but you certainly will have neck pain tomorrow, and that thing we rely on to process information and figure out Scrabble moves is really just a sack of jelly sitting on top of your brain stem. Easily bruised.

@FlyingChainSaw: Enjoyed your pics from las Americas and Asia. You, me and Dodger should have figured out a place to Stinque up out here. I’ve got a four day weekend and thinking either Malaysia or back to the Teardrop Island.

@Nabisco: Thanks. Good to glom around with optics. Should have time in May to actually process the images. I’ll be back out that way sometime soon, at least in KL for some work.

You can just grab assignments on the fly like that? Wow. Anything that comes my way internationally is a year+ in planning and screwing up.

@Nabisco: @Mistress Cynica: @FlyingChainSaw: Well, you all got me sufficiently concerned yesterday evening to call a friend who is a M.D. She said to look for the symptoms mentioned by RML. However, she pointed out that since the other driver’s air bag did not deploy and she was probably braking at the moment of impact, she was going no more than 15 to 20 mph at impact, and she pointed out that’s way less impact than an average Sunday playing contact sports. Feeling much better this morning, and only issue is a little soreness in my shoulders, but no more than the day after going to the gym.

Thanks for the concern and tips!

@Nabisco: Stinque-Up in Bali?

SFL, I add in my agreement, with the proviso that future medical claims against insurance will be greatly bolstered by having a medical exam now, and you won’t know about health problems until months from now in many cases.