A Neocon is Born

Fuck you, Pee Wee Herman.

In 1995, when I was in law school, some asshole climbed onto my balcony (7th floor mind you) off a church roof on 17th Street in Dupont Circle DC and stole my Cannondale mountain bike. Yet I still managed to vote for Bill Clinton a second time a year later. zOMG.

@blogenfreude: And yet, when Wall Street managed to crash the entire fucking world economy, my faith in conservatism was unshaken.

@ManchuCandidate: Aside: Paul Reubens is a totally great guy. He would so take your side against evil roommate.

Help me!!!!!!!!!!!

Have I got your attention?

Help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do Americans use the word ‘dishy’ to mean sexually attractive? Being bi-continental one gets confused.

Not that anyone has recently called me dishy. Not for years. Though I did once make a favorite actress around here fall off her shoes onto the floor of Joe Allen (restaurant) when she saw me not expecting me to be there.

@Benedick: Do Americans use the word ‘dishy’ to mean sexually attractive?

Living Americans? Or dead ones in Forties movies?

@nojo:
White people?

@Benedick:
I “won” the war as I no longer have a crybaby pretending he’s an adult as a housemate and only suffered minor damage of one hole in the wall.

As someone whose sexual attractiveness can be described best as “Hey You” or “Excuse me, please get out of my way”, I can’t help you there.

@nojo: @ManchuCandidate: Darlings, one loves you beyond all measure but one is asking do Americans (no Canuks allowed for obvious reasons) ever describe the object of late-nite fapping as ‘dishy’?

EG: for you straight boys. Scarlett Johannsen. Dishy?

As in: you’re in the steam room with that muscular wrestling coach who’s still looking for the right woman so he can settle down, and he can’t stop talking about that really neat interview with Ryan Gosling at TMZ with all the neat pictures about how all the guys think he’s so hot and a bead of sweat drops off his nose and his towel can’t hardly cover what he’s got going on there and…

Wait. What?

@ManchuCandidate: +1

but I agree with Exquisite Dish, Benedick: Paul Reubens is so awesome! But Manchu meant the character, not the jizzy man.

@ManchuCandidate: Yeah, I never heard that “dishy” shit before, but I’m passing now, so I need to get hip to the jive.

@Benedick: “Darlings, one loves you beyond all measure but one is asking do Americans (no Canuks allowed for obvious reasons) ever describe the object of late-nite fapping as ‘dishy’?”

Again, who you talkin’ ’bout, Willis?

@Benedick: Contemporary Americans do not use “dish” or “dishy” in reference to a comely lass. You’d have to go back to at least Betty Grable for that one.

If you’re using the word in some context other than a meal, then it refers to gossip.

@Benedick: For further reference, linguistic scholar Frank Loesser:

I’m a cat that got the cream
Haven’t got a girl, but I can dream
Haven’t got a girl, but I can wish
So I take me down to Main Street
and that’s where I select
my imaginary dish

@nojo: <3 Wait. Is Main Street where the Ladies stroll?

@I’m passing for white: Ladies? You mean Dames, Dolls, or Whores?

@nojo: Hoes, Hose and Hos.

I meant sex-trade professionals, stolen from Romania or China or sold into sex slavery by their parents in Thailand or _________ .

Sorry to be such a downer.

All this over a fucking bike. SMH. Wait. White people don’t SMH, do they?

@nojo: Whoa. He’s the praise the Lord and pass the ammo guy? Nice.

I wouldn’t say this story describes a neocon being “born” as much as a racist finally coming out the closet.

Specifically, the fact that this yahoo went straight to, “well, there are ni-CLANGs around so CLEARLY one of THOSE PEOPLE must have stolen it” indicates that this ain’t his first racist rodeo.

Also, checked his book out – are we sure, given his Papist background and clear obsession with Teh Secks, that he didn’t just trade the bike to a choirboy for a handie and then not want to admit it?

“My favorite movie growing up was ‘In the Heat of the Night'” is the new “Some of my best friends are black.”

@I’m passing for white: First world problems for $200, Alex!

@I’m passing for white: Since I have no idea what SMH is, I’d say that my people (the WASP faction of whites) do not do it.

@Mistress Cynica: Sydney Morning Herald.

@Mistress Cynica and Lefty: :-)

SMH=”Shake my head” used in texts and online messages and it’s when someone has done or said something, and all you can do is shake your head.

“Mmm, mmm, mmm” doesn’t mean something tastes good. It means SMH.

@FlyingChainSaw: Pfft.

I’ve been thinking about this whole “white guilt” thing, and how ridiculous and harmful a concept it is. And I’m not sure that “concept” is the proper word, because calling it a “concept” seems to give it more credibility than it deserves, and it deserves none.

If you did something shitty, you should feel guilty. If you didn’t do something shitty, you shouldn’t. That’s a problem I have: I am always apologizing for shit I didn’t do. Instead of saying, “That’s horrible,” “I empathize,” “That sucks,” I say, “I’m sorry.”

One day someone asked me why I was apologizing all the time, and I tried to explain that I wasn’t apologizing but expressing sympathy. That person then said that there are many better ways to express sympathy than to use the language of apology. Okay.

I was incredibly self conscious about saying “I’m sorry” for, well, still. Okay. I didn’t do something wrong, so I won’t use the language of apology.

Then someone comes up with this white guilt nonsense. White guilt is an incredibly stupid name for something that shouldn’t exist, and it halts any type of conversation about skin privilege.

I can’t even count the types of privileges that exist: gender privilege, geographic privilege, height privilege, access to _____ privilege, great mentor privilege. I mean, think of anything a person can receive in their lives that gives them some sort of advantage, something they were born with or given, something they didn’t have any kind of control over, but it benefits them in some way, and that’s not something to feel guilty about or something to hide. It’s just something to be aware of and acknowledge. If someone makes it that far, then they decide where to go, if anywhere, from there.

@I’m passing for white: Oh, I totally do the Shake My Head, usually accompanied by a “pitiful, just pitiful,” a la Jed Clampett!
I don’t think I feel “white guilt,” but I do feel acutely aware of being extremely privileged, and having opportunities not available to my fellow citizens, simply because of the circumstances of my birth. I at least acknowledge I was born on third and didn’t hit a triple, for whatever that’s worth (probably nothing).

@Mistress Cynica: I think just knowing it is fine. You (Universal) don’t have to do anything; just realize that it happens. People who have bought into The Self-Made Man Pull Yourself up by Your Bootstraps American Dream Go West, Young Man crapola are deluded.

I know I’ve been damn lucky in many ways, and I don’t fault people who are luckier (I might envy them, though), and I don’t blame people who were less lucky.

It’s just kind of fucked up that so much importance is put on this stuff we can’t control. It goes beyond immutable characteristics, but we often stop there if we get that far.

And it’s just not fair to the rest of mankind if people live life thinking they can do whatever the hell they want just because they were born into this life or that one.

@Mistress Cynica: Oh, and I knew you SMHd while Blessing Their Hearts.

@I’m passing for white: I stuck to my plan, worked hard, enjoyed myself, and here I am now drinking a martini at 2 am with my loyal Sheltie at my feet, having just brought back Son of RML and a pack of his boys up from Albuquerque where they went to see some rap phenom on a school night.

I’m probably on 2nd base now. I could easily live some variation of what I’m doing now and be happy through the end of my days.