Paul Ryan snapped leaving congressional gym. The Washington Memorial rising between his legs.

There is no Team Romney, Team Obama; it’s not a knockout or a horserace; its not about performance (as the actress said to the bishop); it’s not about first round/first base/winning the spread (whatever that means). It’s not bouncy ball, or spandex, or plastic cups. It’s not who’s butch and who’s the bitch.

(Pause)

I’m not making bets and I’m not laying odds. I’m also not watching this ‘debate’. I don’t care which of them can preacher-curl the most reps (shocked I know that, right? Let me tell you I’ve curled a few preachers in my day).

I want them all to STFU. Our most brilliant and accomplished president in years is trashed by the likes of Steve Kroft and David Gregory. We are supposed to care what Eleanor Rigby thinks (is that her name? married to Greenspan? Osteoporosis?)

I don’t say yet a plague on both your houses. But I’m not far off.

Not because I’m too trivial to comprehend – after all I am the inhouse necktie expert – but because the politics and public debate are trivial beyond belief. And I’m tired. No. I’m exhausted. You think it’s easy carrying around this great burden of talent? It’s a responsibility. As I was saying to Barbara Walters I like 3 reps with no more than 95lbs on the rack for squats. It’s all about form. I need the burn right up in my ass, please no photos…

Wait. What?

In this corner, a Ripped Filthy Liar whom we suspect has a glass jaw. And in this corner, a Hairplug-Studded Veteran whose best moments remind you of a vérité Curb Your Enthusiasm. We have no idea what to expect during tonight’s Veep Debate Open Thread/Mixed Mental Arts Competition. We just know it ain’t gonna be normal.

In anticipation of tonight’s Veep debate….here’s Smithers trying to look like Ahnold.

[SF Chronicle]

Yes, it’s my 425 SF Manhattan apartment as seen from … the Roomba! Prepare to be bored out of your mind! And yes, those are my feet, and I am in fact wearing scrubs – best tip I ever got from my ex, the ER doc.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vAhxIIw7XU

Google Images Dominated By Pictures Of Romney For “Completely Wrong” Search [Search Engine Land]

Sorry for dropping the F-bomb in a headline, kiddos, but there’s no other word that can really describe the evil turd-droppings who proudly admit and celebrate that they would drag a 14-year-old girl off of her school bus and shoot her in the head and neck for having the temerity to speak up about her passion to receive an education equal to those of the boys in her country.

FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK!  Where is my colleague Flying ChainSaw to help me articulate the ARRRRRGGGGGHHH inside of me at the news?

Best wishes to Malala Yousafzai, may you heal soon.

And can someone explain why our country dumps billions of dollars in the shithole known as Pakistan?

/SFL is now returning to vigorously petting dogs, shaking up delicious martinis, neurotically monitoring election polls in Ohio,  muttering/shaking her paw at the world, and planning emigration to New Zealand.

Bach – pretty sure this is performed on the Flentrop Organ at Harvard: