“During a sit down interview with Ketchikan Public Radio this week, I used a term that was commonly used during my days growing up on a farm in Central California. I know that this term is not used in the same way nowadays and I meant no disrespect.” —Alaska Congresscritter Don Young, not quite apologizing for calling farmworkers “wetbacks”. [Anchorage Daily News]

Update: Take two: “I apologize.” [TPM]

Bathroom goblin Larry Craig used $200k or so of his campaign money for his defense when he got pulled over for soliciting hot gay sex in an airport bathroom. Larry wanted the resulting FEC case against him dismissed. And surprise! The judge ruled that the trial will proceed:

Craig had argued that the airport bathroom trip fell under his official duties as senator because he was traveling between Idaho and Washington for work, and therefore the legal fees could be paid for with campaign money.

But U.S. District Court Judge Amy Berman Jackson rejected that argument. She wrote in her ruling that the charge against Craig didn’t relate “to his conduct as a legislator, but only actions undertaken in the privacy and anonymity of a restroom stall.” Jackson set a scheduling conference in the case for April 26.

This also gives us a chance to post this video again.

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BuzzFeed is shocked — Shocked! — by the matching pair of new Time covers:

TIME Magazine Sexualizing Same-Sex Marriage With New Cover Photo

This might lead you to ask: How is marriage not sexualized? Except for separate-bed Fifties sitcoms, of course. Oh, and your parents. (The Management apologizes for weirding you out.)

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“A Michigan committeeman with the Republican Party says that he posted an article on Facebook about the ‘filthy lifestyle’ of LGBT people because it was ‘worth sharing.’ Slate’s Dave Weigel on Wednesday reported that Republican National Committeeman Dave Agema had used his Facebook page to promote an article by Dr. Frank Joseph titled ‘Everyone Should Know These Statistics on Homosexuals.'” [Raw Story]

“Georgia’s Senate has voted 48-2 to shift the state’s northern border to include a sliver of land it says was wrongly given to Tennessee by a surveyor’s blunder in 1818. Georgia says the “mismarked boundary lines” have denied it access to the Tennessee River as a source of water and it says it will take its northern neighbor to court if it doesn’t agree to surrender a slice of land big enough to allow it to do so, reports the Chattanooga Times Free Press.” [Newser]

God, you suck. Can’t predict the outcome of a concentrated series of sporting events for shit. You’re so bad at it, you can’t help but join the Stinque Losers Braquet, our exclusive 12-step group for Addictive Failure Disorder.

Braquet Queen MellBell’s
Salon des Refusés

Group ID: 16383
Password: eventhelosers

Remember, the first step towards your recovery is believing in a Higher Failure. The second step is admitting you thought FGCU was some kind of exotic fungus.