Let Your Failure Flag Fly!

Gurgle gurgle gurgle.God, you suck. Can’t predict the outcome of a concentrated series of sporting events for shit. You’re so bad at it, you can’t help but join the Stinque Losers Braquet, our exclusive 12-step group for Addictive Failure Disorder.

Braquet Queen MellBell’s
Salon des Refusés

Group ID: 16383
Password: eventhelosers

Remember, the first step towards your recovery is believing in a Higher Failure. The second step is admitting you thought FGCU was some kind of exotic fungus.


I thought FGCU was a type of Japanese sushi.

@ManchuCandidate: FGCU has to be specially prepared or it can ruin your day. It’s said to taste like crow.

These guys are tough as gators, but taste like chicken. They really put this area on the map. Hope they can keep their coach.
Louisville, my fair alma mater, will steal your jock if you don’t watch out.

@ManchuCandidate: I’m pretty sure FGCU was an edgy French fashion brand popular in the 90’s.

Best place to listen/read the Prop H8 SCOTUS transcript is from Oyez – they even have convenient interactive pictures showing you who is talking at any given moment.

/SCOTUS/Legal Eagle Nerd here would have been able to identify all of them by voice, except maybe Roberts and Breyer would sound the same…

Don’t mind me, just jamming a geek groove.

Paging Dodgerblue, homofascist, Jamie Sommers, JNOV, and libertarian tool: Second-chance brackets are due tomorrow by, let’s see, first game’s at 7:15, so let’s call it 7 pm EDT, just to be safe.


If picks were done when ’tis done, then ’twere well
It were done quickly: if the flagrant foul 1
Could trammel up the consequent free throw, and catch
With his surcease no-look pass; that 15-seed
Might be the be-all and the end-all here,
But here, upon this bank shot of time,
We’ld jump ball life to come. But in these brackets
We still have judgment here; that we but teach
Bloody Georgetown, which, being Florida Gulf
Coast running the table.

My Sport for this weekend will be taking a break from skiing and squeezing one last day out of my 2012-2013 fishing license before the new ones go into effect on April 1. That, and weights and cardio at the gym.

@mellbell: Back in Olden Times, the NIT was the postseason Losers Braquet for teams that failed to reach the NCAA.

I only know this because that was usually our consolation for the Ducks in the late Seventies.

@nojo: I know what the NIT is. Kentucky was in it this year, much to their chagrin. I just couldn’t tell if Dodger was joking or what.

@mellbell: I thought you might be confused because at some point, the NIT switched to preseason to avoid the NCAA. But maybe they’ve switched back. Not that I’ve been paying attention for thirty years.

@redmanlaw: Watching the Pacific… thinking seriously about driving North for the abalone season opener on Monday or Tuesday.

For a brief shining moment, I’m tied for the lead in both brackets. It won’t last long, so I intend to revel in it.

Indiana loses to Syracuse and the President’s Bracket goes down in flames. Surprised he didn’t call in a drone strike at half-time. My Buckeyes barely escaped with a win, but they really should be able to easily beat the winnier of this LaSalle/Wichita St.game. I’m feeling good about my chances in the Real Bracket.

@libertarian tool: The what? Where? I could use some buttons.

@mellbell: Thanks, but I’ve been stressed enough. ;-)

I can still mock others?

ETA: I cannot eat and type for shit.

@JNOV: Of course you can still mock others. That’s what we’re here for.

I had a second chance and I still picked KU to make it to the final. I am too stupid to live. Fuck it. Go, FGCU Eagles!

And another #1 seed bites the dust. No way Kansas should have lost that one, but it appears to be a Big 10 year.

Louisville is the last #1 seed standing.

@libertarian tool: My FB feed exploded with variations on “Why did he kick it back out?”

@Mistress Cynica: Yeah – it made no sense, unless…

He was tired and didn’t want to play another OT. It’s been a long tournament.

Srsly – I wonder if it was a called play. The coach may have decided that Michigan had the mo, didn’t believe his team could survive another OT anyway and went for the win.

@libertarian tool:
I’m laughing because I picked Kansas to choke.

Every damn year since 08 I’ve picked freaking Kansas and they’ve fucking choked so this year I decided that they even though they were the number one seed in their bracket that I was going to pick’em to barf it up. I was fortunate that it was in the final 8.

@mellbell: Sort of joking. I had my chance, I stunque, that’s that. Looking fwd to an LA Stinque-Up tomorrow.

@libertarian tool: And my brackets bite the dust with Kansas.

Oh well, wait till next year and go Tree Women.

RML’s loss is DB’s gain. Ucklah hires Lobo coach.

@Dodgerblue: We’re having a Ess Eff one in a few hours.

With the Marquette loss, no Catholic schools are left in the tourney as of the round of 8. I’m wondering if this is indicative of the new era of humility and subservience ushered in by the new pope.

@libertarian tool: Dude. Wichita State? 20 point lead? Your bracket is crumbling like mine…

@SanFranLefty: My bracket is going into a hypoglycemic coma. Some sort of wheat gluten intolerance on the part of the Ohio State Buckeyes. Who knew?

@libertarian tool: How’s your dad’s bracket doing? Did he predict Florida Gulf Community College and Wichita State? Regardless, I think your dad needs to have his braquet in next year’s Stinque trash-talking tournie.

@libertarian tool: they’ve closed it to 8 points with 4 minutes left, so along with generous calls from the refs, they could totally pull it out of their asses (and make the corporate overlords advertising on CBS very happy).

@SanFranLefty: No – I’m playing his bracket (mostly). I think it best if I keep him away from this group. At 91 I don’think his heart can handle some of the Friday night discussions. Plus he types with random capitalization, no punctuation, and Brooklyn street kid grammar & spelling. Wouldn’t pass muster with the copy editors here.

BTW – OH has closed to 8 with 4 minutes to play.

Pretty good acting by Scott on that foul.

Gee whiz, kids, it’s another call for Ohio State after a European soccer-star worthy flop! The corporate overlords really want them in the final four.

@libertarian tool: ” At 91 I don’think his heart can handle some of the Friday night discussions. Plus he types with random capitalization, no punctuation, and Brooklyn street kid grammar & spelling. “

Are you kidding, I bet he had Friday night discussions back in the day.

And we would never mock a 91 year old who types with random capitalization, punctuation, and Brooklyn street kid grammar/spelling – we call that “Having one (or 3) too many martinis and going on line” around here.

Amirite, RML?


@SanFranLefty: Hey! Hey! Hey! Corporations have feelings too… being – you know – people and all.

@libertarian tool: That’s funny, because about 45 seconds ago I commented on Mr. Cynica’s Libro de las Caras status that I’ll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one.

@libertarian tool: Whoa. Bummer, dude. Did anyone have Wichita State in the Final Four?

@SanFranLefty: You may have to tighten your criteria. Arthur Andersen got a corporate death sentence over their acquiescence and complicity in Texas based Enron’s corporate crimes. But it was the Feds that passed that judgement. Anyway it’s moot. As we all know, the DOJ got out of the business of prosecuting corporate criminal behavior in the Obama administration.

@Mistress Cynica: I didn’t have them getting pass Pitt and I’m out in both brackets. When are you going to post next year’s Stinque or Swim? I’m ready.

Three pints in, back at Union Station waiting for the Glamorous Train Ride back to Sandy Eggo. I’d like to thank Tommie, Andrew and Dodger for knowing how to show a Clown a good time.

Also, Elk-Shit Wallpaper. Just because.

@nojo: Plus, we learned where the Pornography Walk of Fame is.

@nojo: Well, since Dodgerblue hasn’t learned to pay attention to things like shoes, were you wearing the Birks with or without socks?
BTW, impressed you actually you came across the SD/OC county line.

Oh, and WTF Lady Trees lose to Georgia. Go….Kal Ladiez? I guess… fuck! Louisville better fucking beat Puke tomorrow or my first-try bracket is dead. We don’t talk about my second chance bracket *cough* Ducks choke *cough*

@SanFranLefty: There were two known homosexualists in that elkshit-encumbered booth, and if neither of them can recall my fashion felony, I ain’t copping to it.

@SanFranLefty: Oddly enough, it’s on Santa Monica. Down by the Pussycat Theatre. Which is now the Pussycat-Studs theatre. Which makes me wonder why we all just all assume that pussycats are female, goddammit.

God I’m drunk.

@nojo: I promised I’m not telling anyone about the leopard skin panties and I’m sticking to it, bro. It’s a man thing.

ADD: I WIN!!!!!!!

I see UCLA is trying to repeat history. Find an Indiana high school basketball star who became an All-American player at his Indiana college and led his team to a national championship. Hire him as coach. Sit back and let the winning begin. If Alford gets the booster assistance that Wooden did it could work.

@Dave H: The Wooden era can never be repeated. They didn’t let talented college kids jump to the NBA in their sophomore year then. The only way that kind of dominance by one school can be repeated now is if they start paying student athletes NBA salaries.

@Dave H: On behalf of UCLA alums during the Wooden era, let me just say: grumble, grumble, kvetch.

Today is a day that will be remembered a long time by U of L Cardinal fans. Not only do the men club the Dookies like baby seals, the women knock off powerhouse Baylor and Brittney Griner.

Meanwhile, ESPN execs go into a tailspin as the male audience that watches women’s basketball to see Griner dunk has returned to Spike.

I’m so proud of you all. You did Sport. Like real people. Wearing Birks. With socks.

It’s like The Way We Were and Barbra’s meeting Redford on the steps of the Plaza and she realizes that she can never win him back on account of her footwear. And her extremely annoying personality. I mean look at him. He’s gorgeous (I saw him in the flesh around that time and I never saw any human with such coloring). WJYF? (Easter shootout: Who Would Jesus Fuck?) Anyhow, Sport. Yay. It was the bounceyball one, right? Well that’s so hard. To bounce balls. As the actress said to the bishop.

Peace. On this most holy night may Judy be with you.

@libertarian tool: Do the names Julius Erving, George Gervin and Moses Malone sound familiar? They and others jumped to the pros with some or no college back in the early seventies. When the ABA was signing young players pro basketball recruiting was pretty much like the Wild Wild West. There was speculation at the time about how UCLA never seemed to lose any star players to the pros and what the incentives were that kept all the Bruins safely in Wooden’s fold.

@Dave H: Not to mention Kevin Ware’s injury. That shit doesn’t happen every day.

@mellbell: That shouldn’t happen to any 19 year old, let alone a competitive hoopster.

@mellbell: That was one of the most sickening things I’ve seen since Barbaro’s leg break. Poor kid.

@ManchuCandidate: Having never broken a bone (knock on wood), it’s a complete mystery to me how that could happen to a healthy kid on a routine play, but people in the know seem to think that stress fractures are to blame.

Louisville women are in the Final Four as well. Must be something in the water.

I don’t normally stress out about sports, but that Louisville win took about a year off my life.

@mellbell: Not to mention the first inch or so off every one of my fingers. I’m sure glad this isn’t the NBA with a four of seven series against Wichita State.

@Dave H: No shit. Single elimination cuts both ways, but boy was I happy for it tonight.

@mellbell: That call in favor of Louisville with like 10 seconds left was ridiculous. And I say that as someone who has them winning the whole thing.

@SanFranLefty: Yeah. I was happy about the double foul call, too, but at least that was legit.

Holy crap! I won the Stinque Braquet! Finally! After 4 years of having my ass handed to me, I finally squeaked by. Mathematically, the only people who can gain any points right now are if Louisville wins the NCAA championship and I am among them.

All Hail Nate.

@ManchuCandidate: I have Louisville to win, but I’ll be lucky to beat Hank the dog in my office pool.

And btw, you have to give credit to those kids from Syracuse who got to the Final Four playing a rec league 2-3 zone defense.

@mellbell: And I hope we don’t have to wait until next March to see libertarian tool around these parts. We need to have another Ess Eff Stinque Up and I’ll try to drag him out of hiding and golfing and fishing and advocating for divided guv-mint.

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