Which Hitch is Rich?

Competitive Face-Sucking.

BuzzFeed is shocked — Shocked! — by the matching pair of new Time covers:

TIME Magazine Sexualizing Same-Sex Marriage With New Cover Photo

This might lead you to ask: How is marriage not sexualized? Except for separate-bed Fifties sitcoms, of course. Oh, and your parents. (The Management apologizes for weirding you out.)

Apparently there’s reason to BuzzFeed’s madness. We’ll let them explain:

One of Time’s two new cover photos declaring “gay marriage already won” looks like a wedding kiss. The other looks more like a makeout session.

Okay, fine. Just one question: Which is which?

14 comments:

4:28 pm • Thursday • March 28, 2013

Easy. Open mouths = sexy time. Pursed lips = not sexy time.

4:33 pm • Thursday • March 28, 2013

I thought it interesting that the women were shown with their mouths open while the men seem to be celebrating three months of bromance.

My theory is this: straight men designed the cover and they’re not yet down with hot tongue action between men whereas everyone likes the ladeez.

4:38 pm • Thursday • March 28, 2013

@mellbell: @Benedick: Okay, next question: Is this obvious? Would it have immediately struck you the way it did the BuzzFeed writer?

(Follow-up question: And if so, am I adorably clueless?)

4:52 pm • Thursday • March 28, 2013

@nojo: I wasn’t so much struck with the so-called sexualizing – though they hardly look like wedding photos and no I’m not posting any of mine – I was more impressed by the gender difference. But then I am extremely brilliant so don’t feel too bad if you can’t keep up.

And the answer to your question is yes. Heavy emphasis on ‘adorably’.

4:53 pm • Thursday • March 28, 2013

@Benedick:
I think so.

Being a straight man, I like lesbians but it makes me scratch my head when the media portrays gay men as chaste and non passionate.

5:01 pm • Thursday • March 28, 2013

While we’re in the neighborhood, I was instructed the other day to change a campus title from “VP for Diversity” to “VP for Inclusion”.

You have now officially Received the Memo.

5:47 pm • Thursday • March 28, 2013

@nojo: And just a moment ago, I was instructed to swap in standard Lorem Ipsum text on a campus design draft instead of the delightful Bacon Ipsum because “there are vegetarians on the committee”.

My contact obviously meant humorless vegetarians.

6:10 pm • Thursday • March 28, 2013

@nojo: I am offended.

6:11 pm • Thursday • March 28, 2013

Althouse: “Guess which pair is kissing wedding style (with their collars showing) and which pair is kissing sexy (with no indication that they’re not naked)?”

The collars! Of course! How could I have missed that?

6:28 pm • Thursday • March 28, 2013

@nojo: So lesbians can’t get married in strapless dresses like the rest of us? Sheesh.

8:02 pm • Thursday • March 28, 2013

@mellbell: Doesn’t go with the sensible shoes.

12:33 am • Friday • March 29, 2013

It’s not nearly as bad as when Apple named that tablet the iPad, but there is a difference between the photos.

The woman’s face that we can see is centered. The back of dude’s head is centered.

The women were shot as if they are models. The men were shot as if they are some dudes.

It’s the angle. It’s the mouths. The beauty of the women is center stage. The beauty of the men is not. That’s a fucking shame.

@nojo: Yes, adorably so.

1:02 am • Friday • March 29, 2013

@nojo: and it is not possible that both guys might be wearing strapless gowns? If I were to gay marry, I’d show off my shoulders. Fuck Althouse.

1:29 am • Saturday • March 30, 2013

@nojo: Hahahaha.

Maybe it’s me but the woman on the left looks like she’s been drugged and the woman on the right is chewing her lip off. Zombie lesbians?

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