Title: “Doctor Sleep”

Author: Stephen King

Rank: 17

Blurb: “Stephen King returns to the character and territory of one of his most popular novels ever, The Shining, in this instantly riveting novel about the now middle-aged Dan Torrance and the very special twelve-year-old girl he must save from a tribe of murderous paranormals. ”

Review: “I liked the book very much except, the part where dan exhaled the cancer onto the true knot members. Too much john coffeyish.”

Customers Also Bought: “Carrie (Movie Tie-in Edition)”

Footnote: We didn’t truly appreciate Kubrick’s genius until reading The Shining after seeing the movie. Stephen King’s famous resentment of the adaptation is that of Salieri towards Mozart.

Doctor Sleep [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

Title: “The Circle”

Author: Dave Eggers

Rank: 23

Blurb: “When Mae Holland is hired to work for the Circle, the world’s most powerful internet company, she feels she’s been given the opportunity of a lifetime. The Circle, run out of a sprawling California campus, links users’ personal emails, social media, banking, and purchasing with their universal operating system, resulting in one online identity and a new age of civility and transparency.”

Review: “Should be required reading in junior high if they can get past the sex scenes.”

Customers Also Bought: “Fear of Flying” by Erica Jong

Footnote: The Circle is being pitched as the 1984 of social media, written by a 43-year-old who grew up in a simpler time when all we had to worry about were credit cards tracking our every purchase. We’re all for extrapolitive caricature, but we can’t help smelling the freshly cut lawn of a premature fogey. Besides, Big Brother wasn’t opt-in.

The Circle [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

The teabaggers caved.

We still have a government. (Mostly).

And somewhat of an economy. (Mostly).

And Ted Cruz is still a douche. (Abso-fucking-lutely)

And John Boehner is still a spineless drunk. (Oh hayell yes).

Carry on, America and world. Nothing to see here.

What’s the over/under on the teabaggers starting impeachment proceedings by MLK Day?

Creamy!

As Washington approaches the official deadline for the default of our economy (the massive harm already inflicted will unfold over years and is well under way: Fitch has taken us off A rating to ‘Watch’) we have been alerted to the debate that cuts to the heart of our being.

Do we ‘come’ or do we, as I believe, ‘cum.’

Preference or grammar? Two sentences for your consideration:

A: ‘Did you come in those pants?’ As in, dude, what a fashion statement.

B: Did you cum in those pants? As in, dude, you’ll want to pre-soak.

The debate, masterfully handled by Mr. Dan Savage, rages in the comments at Savage Love. So far it seems that the ‘comers’ outnumber ‘cummers’. This to me is the okay/OK debate reignited. Brits tend to write OK (which I believe to be the correct form so case closed), Americans tend to prefer the pathetically flaccid ‘okay’.

To which I say: Where is the explosion in the word? Is it even a word or does it more properly denote an ejaculation? A verbal ‘cumming’ if you will.

Which returns us to ‘cum’. On Twitter: short is good. (This does not always apply to life.)

My money’s on cum. Pass the towel.

The Oldz had a high old time in DC last few days.

They raged at the president, they plotted against the president, they scoffed at the president, they raged at the president some more, then they raged at the president again, and in case anyone missed it, they raged at the president.

They hated on the uppity women, also on other kinds of folk who could might be described as being uppity, but most of all they hated on the Gays. They hated on the Gays and hated on the Gays. And then in case anyone thought they were gay they hated on the Gays some more.

Read more »

Title: “The Romney Family Table: Sharing Home-Cooked Recipes & Favorite Traditions”

Author: Ann Romney

Rank: 61

Blurb: “Pull up a chair as Ann Romney invites you into her home and kitchen, combining some of her favorite foods with memories of raising five boys (such as coming home to find her young son completely covered in Marshmallow Fluff).”

Review: “All proceeds go to hospials (rather than Socialism medicine forced on the masses but not taken by those forcing it on us.)”

Customers Also Bought: “Home for the Holidays” by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and “Closer To The Truth” by Cher

Footnote: Don’t ask what’s in Mitt’s Meatloaf.

The Romney Family Table [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

In more ways than one:

“I would end up fielding the [girls’] complaints: ‘Could you please keep your roommate out of our hallway?'” his undergrad roommate at Princeton Craig Mazin told the Daily Beast over the summer. (“I would rather have anybody else be the president of the United States. Anyone,” Mazin added. “I would rather pick somebody from the phone book.”)

But Ted won the Values Voters straw poll! Suppose the Values Voters were standing upwind.

Ted Cruz Was a Terrible, Smelly Roommate [NYMag Daily Intelligencer]