Never Trust Anyone Under Thirty

A Smug Work of Staggering Condescension.Title: “The Circle”

Author: Dave Eggers

Rank: 23

Blurb: “When Mae Holland is hired to work for the Circle, the world’s most powerful internet company, she feels she’s been given the opportunity of a lifetime. The Circle, run out of a sprawling California campus, links users’ personal emails, social media, banking, and purchasing with their universal operating system, resulting in one online identity and a new age of civility and transparency.”

Review: “Should be required reading in junior high if they can get past the sex scenes.”

Customers Also Bought: “Fear of Flying” by Erica Jong

Footnote: The Circle is being pitched as the 1984 of social media, written by a 43-year-old who grew up in a simpler time when all we had to worry about were credit cards tracking our every purchase. We’re all for extrapolitive caricature, but we can’t help smelling the freshly cut lawn of a premature fogey. Besides, Big Brother wasn’t opt-in.

The Circle [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]


Interesting plot – – read the excerpt in NYT magazine. Gotta go with the flow in the brave new world. Really not much different than corporate world in the 70’s. Maybe a little more socially encompassing. You either buy-in or you’re out the door. Eat what you kill and share.

Installed Mavericks on Air and iMac. On the Awesum scale of 1 to 10 it comes in at 15. Weird unupdating of other apps going on on iMac but patience is a virtue. Pages no longer seems to be able to open files from before – aka, my life – whatevs. My only demurral (yes I did write that) is the name: Mavericks? Rilly? As in Palin/McQueen? Sorry, McCain? Jobs would have so totally picked up on the unfortunate vibe and named it… I don’t know, Ramrod? Tantric Sex? Smooth?

@Benedick: I’m waiting for confirmation that all my Adobe apps don’t crash, but initial reports are promising. (Although it’s usually wise to wait for the first bug-fix update.)

Nobody else has thought to mention Palin, because nobody else can get past the awkward implied plural. But here it is: Maverick was a dog, Maverick’s was the dog’s beach, and the apostrophe atrophied over time.

Whether the Master would approve, Apple ran out of cats, and the only popular alternative was Sea Lion.

@nojo: Maverick was a dog. Parrot was a ballloon. Soon we must all wear assless chaps. The Wittengenstein is strong.

Yes, now we’re going Cali with our OSXes. My Mac Mini with Samsung monitor now has gorgeous saturated colors. And now I will have to change it back to something more realistic. Soon.

@JNOV: The loading in Safari is swift. Maps is a wonderment. I see my house. Icons dazzle. Surfers frolic for the Sandy Eggo Andrew Lloyd Weber musical surf fest.

@Benedick: I’m not hearing anything nasty — Adobe apps all cleared for takeoff — so I might violate my own 10.x.1 rule and dive in this weekend. I’m hankering for the battery/memory improvements.

@matador1015: That seems to be a common complaint: Default monitor settings are equivalent to demo TVs at Best Buy.

@nojo: All of my apps are working. I had a comical time with customer support as my first hasty glance at Pages, the WP I have always used till discovering Scrivener recently – OMFG!! – I thought all my files were unreadable with the update, not understanding the redesigned look of the Finder and files. Was my face red!!! Somebody really should spank me. I mean really. With a belt would be good. Ah, schooldays! Where was I? Right. I’m not finding anything glitchy. It’s smooth as butter and twice as useful. I think my Air is too old to work with the monitor sharing thingy but haven’t really looked into it properly. What would be awesome is if I could use my iPad as a secondary screen. Anyhow, it’s kind of a triumph in its way. The way it connects with everything else is what’s going to be its greatest attribute.

Plus: the speed.

@Benedick: Folks are bitching that New Pages is less capable than Old Pages (to make it work better with the iOS versions), but the details don’t affect me, and (apparently) Old Pages remains available, if you already have it.

I’m really impressed that Adobe apps aren’t fucked up, because that’s always the issue with major OS upgrades, and the only step up from CS6 is the Fucking Expensive Creative Cloud, which I hope (probably in vain) to avoid for the rest of my life.

But after reading Siracusa’s typically exhaustive Ars Technica review, and listening to Siracusa on a podcast right now, and devouring Macintouch comments — all SOP for me — I’m planning on diving in Saturday, unless a late-breaking dealbreaker turns up before then. I really want those memory/battery improvements. Plus tabbed Finder windows.

Mavericks? What? Talk about something I understand, like assplay.

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: assplay

Windows is now at 8.1.

[ This has been a test of the Stinque Rimshot Button. ]

@nojo: TJ/ I’ve noticed that the locals go to warm, sunny places in the winter. I’m thinking about bringing Steve to SoCal for a long weekend. The Glooooom has arrived.

WHY DOES MY OS KEEP UPDATING?! (Snow Leopard. Shut up.)

@nojo: That thing still works? I miss the vulvazula.

@nojo: Styled text is working, it’s also prettier and I like pretty, though it seems like it lost its keyboard shortcut. That would make me a sad cowboy. Maybe I haven’t found it yet. Not everything’s where you expect, as the bishop said to the actress, but when you find it you see what they’ve done and why. The whole look is much cleaner, no imitation tear off sheets in Calendar. BTW. Assplay=8.1: priceless!

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: Assplay? I mentioned butter. And also 8.1.

@nojo: I have a lot of leftover monitor settings from my time as a GDesigner. The default setting is the same, but the colors themselves are more saturated. Will hold off on changing the settings when I tire of the gorgeous colors.

Also, Adobe CS3 is compatible with 10.9. My InDesign, a holdover from CS1, is disabled. I need a bootleg/free desktop software in the interim.

@matador1015: Your CS3 trumps the successful CS4 I saw reported elsewhere. And, digressing, ID CS6 still opens old PageMaker files. Comes in handy every decade or so.

@JNOV: Wimps. If you’re going to live in the Northwest, deal with it. Or wait four decades after birth and then get the hell out.

@nojo: You’ve conflated assplay with assclowning. Very different sports.

@nojo: The one weirdness I’m finding is with the App store which will delete anything made by Adobe because it is evil.

Hahhahahah. kidding. Fake!! haha. Dude. Got you there. Haha. /opening packet of Cheetos.

No, the one weirdness I’m finding is with the App store app which is slightly loopy as regards updates. But who cares. It’s pretty. We need pretty. We do. We really do. If we can’t be good let us be pretty.

@Benedick: Fine, fine. I’m pulling the trigger in a couple hours. Soon as clients are finished having their way with me for the week.

I did upgrade Windows to 8.1 yesterday, and… Huh? Yes, there’s now a Start Button in Desktop Mode. And the Start Button… takes you back to the damn tiles. Psych!

I could actually deal with Windows 7, during those shameful moments I have to check my work on the Dark Side. It ain’t pretty, but it works. Win 8, on the other hand, is an alien’s idea of what humans might find compelling. Microsoft has always lacked taste. Now it has bad taste.

So I’m white-noising the Dick Van Dyke show whilst I work, and the streaming version includes some commercials from the day. Including one for a popular dishwashing liquid. Advertised as…

New sudsier Joy!

In my experience, Joy can never be sudsy enough.

@nojo: Shurrup. Steve wants to go to LA, so, I think that’s what we’re gonna do.

Remember when “felching” was the verb of the day?

@JNOV: I believe that to be a mythical practice, much like the “rainbow kiss”.

Hokay — putting feelers out there. I think Steve and I are coming to LA. 12/19 – 12/23.

I hate the traffic, and I don’t want to rent a car. I want to stay at the beach, but I think Steve might want to stay in Hollywood.


@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: We still have a date on the teacups. And Sour…

@JNOV: I’ll have to check but I think we’re in New York for Christmas then… :(

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: No worries. We have loooong winters. You’ll just miss out on The Boy.

I did upgrade Windows to 8.1 yesterday, and… Huh? Yes, there’s now a Start Button in Desktop Mode. And the Start Button… takes you back to the damn tiles. Psych! Is it just me or did the windows just steam up from all the geek hotness? I need to go shower off.

@JNOV: LA? Rilly? It’s like Cleveland with a beach.

We still here?

Guess so.

I hate the new Dock background.

And Dana Point and Capistrano and Trestles and dudes changing in the parking lot.

@nojo: I have no idea what you’re talking about. What you’ve been talking about with silly for the past few days? He doesn’t know what you’re talking about either. matador1015 has a clue.

Catt and I DNGAF.

@nojo: whilst?


@nojo: tl;dr

I’m not jelly.

@Benedick: On the other hand, my screen doesn’t seem over-saturated. So there’s that.

@JNOV: Just upgraded to OS X Dog Beach. Waiting for it to bite me.

@nojo: I maintain that Windows 8 is fine so long as one has a touchscreen. Which I do. So there.

@mellbell: But that’s the point. Metro sucks on a laptop/desktop.

Of course, I don’t have to live with it — just the occasional visit to see how Explorer fucks up my work. The Neighbor, on the other hand, can’t stop bitching about it.

@JNOV: The Vuv is World Cup-only. Like Disney cartoons, some sounds need to cool their heels in the Stinque Vault.

@Benedick: Love the tabbed Finder. Especially since I often have to open multiple windows at once.

Still detest the sidebar dock background — light frosted glass instead of dark transparency — but I can get used to it. Smoothest upgrade since System 7. So far.

Finder is good. I like that new treatment in the dock. I find the icons easier to see. I found the whole upgrade very trouble free. I think my first Mac was running system 7 when I bought it. I remember much drama when we went to 8. And then 9. And OMG when we went to X!! I had a clamshell notebook and not everything could fit on the screen.

I’m envious! Still unable to upgrade in Maverick. We must be very far down in the pecking order at chez Apple. My OS 7 devices are humming along nicely, however.

I spoke too soon. CS3 is now officially crippled. Note: Just because it displays on the Dock doesn’t mean the Surf Dog wants to open it. Also, here’s a test to see if you qualify for the Ten-Point-Nine.

This is worse than a FaceBook game, although I’m enjoying the giraffes.

Edna Krabappel!

I remember her best as the receptionist on the Bob Newhart show.

Bon voyage, Marcia Wallace

@Benedick: @nojo: Gaaaah! Seduced by Benedick’s rave review, I did the dumbest thing you can ever do: tried to update my OS while on a business trip. In the UK. Turns out I have a problem with the Airflash storage firmware or something, anyway, long story short–it completely crashed the computer requiring a wipe and reinstall. Restoring info from iCloud now. Some files (including Quicken, with all my bank acct info) are just gone. I’m so grateful to have access to internet and my email that I don’t even care right now.

@Mistress Cynica: Too late now, but…

Get thee to, and sign up for automatic unlimited online backups. Five bucks a month, or fifty bucks a year. Alpha Geeks swear by it, I swear by it, and I’ve got Mom’s MacBook on it as well.

@matador1015: CS3 is now officially crippled.

Adobe sez it’s cool — at least Photoshop CS3.

I’m seeing reports of an old bizarre Java launch issue — old because Adobe never required Java to launch, but Apple said it did — so if that’s what’s sandbagging you, might be worth a moment to hunt it down.

Holy shit — “compressed memory” works.

It’s one of the geekier elements of OS X Dog Beach, but here’s how it works: Say you have, oh, 8 megs of ram installed. When your software breaks that limit (which it always will), operating systems typically start writing that “extra” ram to your hard drive, which is when things start getting painfully sluggish.

You’re also now beating the shit out of your hard drive, and in turn, sucking the shit out of your battery.

Dog Beach tries to put off that inevitable moment by “compressing” little-used ram in memory — then expanding it the moment you need it again. Faster than writing to disk, and less battery suckage.

So: I run Windows on my Mac via Parallels, which pretends to be a PC under the hood. And not just “Windows”, but XP, 7 and 8 — so I can see how their different versions of Explorer fuck up client websites. (Explorer and Outlook will always fuck you up.)

Previously, after visiting the Dark Side, I had to restart my Mac, because after throwing that much shit at the memory, things were beyond recovery. (Very. Fucking. Slow.)

And just now? Sure, no problem! Start and quit, there and back, everything else as responsive as usual.

Meanwhile, Activity Monitor shows almost a gigabyte of “compressed memory” — and nothing written to disk.

That. Is. Fucking. Awesome. Just like Apple promised.

Cut. It. Out. The only comprehensible thing you all have written has to deal with backblaze. Other than that, the only amusing thing is believing that Bene hisself installed the Mavericks. I don’t believe it for one second, unless he was assisted by pugs.

Still running Snow Leopard. shurrup.

@JNOV: Of course Bene installed Dog Beach all by his lonesome. One click in the Mac App Store.

@nojo: He hasn’t been to the Mac App Store since he downloaded Angry Birds.

It’s REALLY SHITTY that Apple keeps trying to force me to buy a new computer WHEN I DON’T NEED ONE. shitty.

@nojo: I spoke too soon, once again. After what seemed a lifetime of hesitation, my CSs launched anew. Which is a relief, because I didn’t want to learn Gimp.

OTOH, I was using iMovie to create videos at work. None of the iMovie projects will load in the Dog Surfer version. That, and a new interface are trampling my last nerve.

@matador1015: But the old iMovie is still available, yes? Unless it’s just old iWork versions that don’t get zapped.

Also: Everybody loves Pixelmator, although I’m stuck with Photoshop for professional reasons.

@JNOV: And all I have been able to understand is that “Mavericks” is the beach in Half Moon Bay about 5 miles north of the free public San Mateo County Beach where I used to take my K9 friends to romp in dog shit and horse shit and dead seal carcasses while I tried to drill myself on flashcards for Crim Pro finals.

Oh, and Mavericks is right by the Half Moon Bay Brewing Company, which has an awesome home-brewed IPA on tap, lots of fire pits, and lots of places to tie up said stinquey dogs. Reminder to self to take beer-loving Stinquers there when they are visiting.

Apparently it also has something to do with managing the Tubez on flashy new Apple computer products that I can’t afford/figure out how to write off on the taxes.

@SanFranLefty: :-) I miss it all and Big Basin. I wonder where the VBA in CA is. I bet there is more than one.

You know what the righties say: If we don’t take back OUR country, it will look like California! Oh my!

@BobCens: Yeah. I’m ready to go.

Last summer I asked my son if he thought I would stay here. He said, “I don’t know, Mom. You’re kind of unpredictable.”

I’m looking into transferring to San Diego (and the PS4, because they are totally related). I think I’ve had it here. WA is lovely, but I need sun, sand, stuff to do like jog in Balboa Park. Skip the Gaslamp Quarter. I believe SD has the most military bases in the country. I like Imperial Beach. My pay is adjusted based on where I live. I think SD might work out if they let me transfer. I need a sick relative or something down there, though.

Nojo, will you be my sick grandfather?

@JNOV: I need sun

I lasted 39 years before seeing the, uh, light.

will you be my sick grandfather?

I’m aging too well to pull that off.

@JNOV: Yeah, you need to head south. Since my seasonal depression is brought on by heat, humidity, and relentless sunlight (summers in OK were hell), the PNW is perfect for me.

TJ/ Saw this on NPR website, was particularly impressed. They’ve been offered a reality show, but refuse on principle to make money on what they did.

It is no shame to have a dirty face, the shame comes when you keep it dirty.
– Truman Capote, “In Cold Blood”

Also: new Snorg Girl. Be on the lookout, Dodger, she’s got sexy shiksa written all over her…

ADD: Or are all shiksas sexy by definition? Is shiksa a mean thing to call someone? Yiddish is hard.

@nojo: Heh. Apparently all I have to do is write a memo to my coach (er, boss in English), and ask for a transfer. No reason needed. That doesn’t mean they’ll transfer me, but it’s worth a try.

@Mistress Cynica: I’m glad you handle this well. This is one of the most amazing places I’ve lived, but if I jump off a roof, well…that’s the end of that living thing. The Mountain is out today. This sucks.

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: Wasn’t that Prom’s fetish? Shiksa is bad if your boyfriend’s mother calls you one to your face. I never met that boyfriend’s mother. There was no kvelling about the schvartze shiksa. Meshuggeneh yenta.

baked was trying to teach me yiddish sentences. She was so funny.

@nojo: P.S. I will try to spread “OS Dog Beach” as much as possible.

@JNOV: Sadly the rents in the Bay Area are going absolutely batshit insane (average SF rent for a 1 BR apt is > $3K), so you should go for the LA or Sandy Eggo offices before the 510.

@JNOV: Weird. I just invoked her on another thread. I think of her at the oddest times.

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