Our highest honor is not easily achieved. Anybody can be an asshole. Some can even be an asshole for years without meriting special recognition — Louie Gohmert may some day win an Anal Pear, but he’ll never qualify for a Crystal Douchebag. For he lacks a special quality only few possess: The ability to really fuck things up.
The nominees are: Newt Gingrich, who hasn’t worked an honest day in his life; Rupert Murdoch, who pulled off the hat trick of undermining Democracy on three continents; Grover Norquist, who doesn’t need to run for President because he already wields ultimate veto power over everything; and Donald Trump, who has been building a decades-long case for a severe Estate Tax.
And the winner is…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • Morning in America IMPALE!
¡ANDREW! • Morning in America If only there were a way to block Prezinazi AntiChrist's sinister, fugly face.
KAREN MARIE MIGHT BE PEEKING JUST A LITTLE • Morning in America Oh, hey, kids - long time no see! I am delighted to see you all still kicking it.
¡ANDREW! • Joe the Plumber Foils Our Prediction of Resorting to Online Porn @nojo: When bad things happen to bad people, and they get what they deserve.
NOJO • Joe the Plumber Foils Our Prediction of Resorting to Online Porn And now he’s dead. At 49. Of pancreatic cancer. Which he couldn’t afford, so he set up a…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • Morning in America DISMEMBER!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Morning in America The Orange Grinch who stole an Election (and Top Secrets)
NOJO • Morning in America Needs a Dragnet narrator.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • IF TRUMP APEARS IN A PENITENTIARY, THE INMATES WILL DISMEMBER HIM WITHIN MINUTES! PIECE OF SHIT, TRUMP! DIE! DIE! DIE!
¡ANDREW! • IF TRUMP APEARS IN A PENITENTIARY, THE INMATES WILL DISMEMBER HIM WITHIN MINUTES! That’s a manifesto I definitely endorse ; )