Platinum Pampers for Best Sex Scandal

This was the year of the Sexless Sex Scandal — which would have disqualified the category, if not for Exceptional American Ingenuity. For in the grand tradition of Our Supressed Puritan Forefathers, even the thought of sex is enough to put points on the board.

The nominees are: Herman Cain!, who had 999 problems but bitches weren’t 994; Christopher Lee, who resigned faster than he could take off his shirt, setting in motion a chain of events that flipped a historically Republican district; and Anthony Weiner, whose name finally caught up with him.

And the winner is…

Anthony Weiner. Dude, he tweeted his dick.

Next hour: Potassium Propeller Beanie for Respected Irrationality in Public Life

The 2011 Stinque Awards

9 comments:

10:14 am • Tuesday • December 27, 2011

I would have to put my money on Cain! Only at the speed the bimbo eruptions blew up the GOPer “front” runner and turned him into a bigger joke.

10:47 am • Tuesday • December 27, 2011

@ManchuCandidate: Teah, but Weiner-weiner. Something of a crotch pick, but in the final analysis I have to agree with the judges.

11:40 am • Tuesday • December 27, 2011

@ManchuCandidate: You have to look at consequences. Herman was going to fail sooner or later, but two Congresscritters resigned over their non-sex sex scandals. And while it can be argued that Lee’s resignation was more significant, Weiner wins on style points, because, after all, he tweeted his dick.

3:29 pm • Tuesday • December 27, 2011

This was a shitty year for sex scandals.

10:26 am • Wednesday • December 28, 2011

Pretty limp field. Nothing really jumps up and screams “Blow Me!”

To give Weiner his due he did his best. But really, who among us has not tweeted pictures of our underwear in some form or other? Opening a new bank account, getting a voter ID, renewing a passport?

I’ve appeared on stage in a musical singing and dancing while wearing less. Admittedly a few years ago. No. It’s not the same as having one’s whopper in one’s hand beside a jar of Albolene. I thought the recent case of married, Voters fan, 3 kiddies, Republican (what else? I have a theory) southern baptist mayor who resigned when challenging a fraud case brought against him for charging his city for personal items submitted a bill from a gay sex shoppe in Toronto. It had a certain scope.

2:44 pm • Wednesday • January 28, 2015

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3:36 pm • Wednesday • January 28, 2015

@sexleksaker: I’m letting most of this stand (sans links) because Sex Tips from the Swedish Chef is irresistibly amusing.

11:54 pm • Wednesday • January 28, 2015

@nojo: I nominate “It’s not the same as having one’s whopper in one’s hand beside a jar of Albolene.” as the Stinque Tweet of the Day, if you’re taking nominations from 2011. That or “it had a certain scope”.

12:07 am • Thursday • January 29, 2015

@SanFranLefty: I’ve actually been considering “Feliz David’s Nads” the past few hours, but it doesn’t quite work.

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