It’s not quite tentacle porn, but as predicted by Paul the Psychic German Octopus, Spain beat Germany in today’s World Cup action.

So your team just lost the quarterfinal of the World Cup, what do you do?

If you’re German midfielder Bastian Schweinsteiger (say that one three times fast), you cry, then like a man, dry your tears and take off your shirt to win Stinque’s World Cup Hottie of the Day award!

The tears:

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In today’s quarterfinal action of the World Cup, Holland beat Uruguay 3-2. Today’s World Cup Hottie wins Stinque’s title for being a bad ass who wasn’t faking an injury, namely, he got kicked in the face and briefly passed out. Luckily, X-rays show that Holland’s Demy de Zeeuw did not break his jaw, but it did put a scare into the Oranje.

Holland will play the winner of tomorrow’s Spain v. Germany match for the championship on Sunday.  Uruguay will play the loser of tomorrow’s match on Saturday for the third place prize.

Sadly, no Japanese tentacle porn, but miscellaneous Dutch man-love and female fans after the jump.

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Today the much vaunted Mengele Bowl (HT: Dodger) occurred at the World Cup between Germany and Argentina, but apparently Argentina failed to appear for the game, as there’s no other way to explain their 4-0 shellacking.

Or maybe tonight’s World Cup Hottie, Lukas Podolski, had something to do with the German victory. A fantastic player, named Man of the Match by FIFA, he didn’t score but he was a key player in the midfield helping Germany capitalize upon their strong defense and translate it into goals.

And he likes to wax his body. Apparently a lot.

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Earlier today Nojo shared with us the news that 26% of Americans do not know that the US declared independence from England – I was surprised the number was so low.

Similarly, I’d be surprised if one in ten Americans could locate Uruguay on a world map, let alone properly spell or pronounce the name of the country of 3 million. I can attest it’s a great country with beautiful beaches off the beaten path.

Our World Cup Hottie, Andres Scotti, might at least get some of the world population paying more attention to the small South American country.

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In today’s World Cup action, the returning champions Italy – who in my opinion never should have been in the 2006 finals – were sent packing back to Rome after losing to Slovakia by a score of 3-2.

This means we won’t have the smoldering Italians like nekkid Fabio Cannarvo to feast our eyes on anymore.

Nor will we have another hot Italian mess, Daniel DeRossi, who is mercurial in attitude and likes to take his clothes off on the field. And I’m not talking about his jersey, either.  And so he’s today’s World Cup Hottie of the Day. I’m not a big fan of straggly facial hair, but it has its place.

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Today’s WCHotD is Chile’s Mark Gonzalez, who came off the bench to score the winning goal in Monday’s game against Chile.

Prior to today’s achievement, his greatest accomplishment was getting fired and sent home in 2006 from the Chilean national team’s tour of Europe after he was found in a Dublin hotel room with three women.

Alright, due to overwhelming bitching by the str8 boys about the Department of Lady-Bits’ objectification of the men in the World Cup Hottie of the Day series I’m running, today we’ll feature some World Cup ladies.

While I will do you boys a favor, I insist that there must be at least one photo of an actual athlete, therefore, I begin with the iconic image of Brandi Chastain in 1999 when the U.S. won the Women’s World Cup in a shoot-out.

World Cup WAGs and announcers after the jump.  What is a WAG? Well, I’ll explain that too.

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