Well! That was fun!

Problem is, BozoGate was only the third weirdest Christine O’Donnell story Monday. Damn, it’s a jungle out there.

But let’s recap: The New York Times has now clarified its story that Celibabe’s dad played Bozo in Philadelphia — his “signature gig,” as first described. After a squadron of Bozo Truthers questioned the factual basis of that assertion, Dad came forward to explain that he wasn’t the official, accredited Local Bozo, but a Bozo Stringer who would fill in for personal appearances and such as needed.

We’re glad we didn’t grow up in Philly, because we would have been ten at the time, and we’d be crushed to learn now that we’ve been living a lie all these years, thinking we had met the real Bozo. Or a real Bozo.

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As our devoted readers know, the political world was rocked over the weekend by Christine O’Donnell’s claim that her father played Bozo in Philadelphia — a claim that cannot be confirmed, even after extensive research.

Well, the political world should have been rocked. But so far, nobody’s picked up on this game-changing controversy. Even after we launched a national billboard campaign Sunday to take the issue to the People of These United States.

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Let’s start with the news, which both the NY Post and the Daily News saw fit to fuss over yesterday. We’ll go with Rupert this round, because we like his photo better:

Federal copy editors are demanding the city change its 250,900 street signs — such as these for Perry Avenue in The Bronx — from the all-caps style used for more than a century to ones that capitalize only the first letters.

Changing BROADWAY to Broadway will save lives, the Federal Highway Administration contends in its updated Manual on Uniform Traffic Control Devices, citing improved readability.

At $110 per sign, it will also cost the state $27.6 million, city officials said.

The Post story is actually quite calm, compared to its rival:

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Oh, no! Sarah Palin has invaded our peace-loving website! What can you do to fight the menace? Click here, look at what appears in the upper left of the screen, then use your arrow keys to move, and your spacebar to Fire! Fire! Fire!

Oh, and don’t mind the collateral damage. War is Hell, y’know.

What? You don’t have a keyboard? You’re stabbing madly with your finger and nothing happens? Or — even worse — you’re using Explorer? You lose, pal.

Hello, want to kill some time? [GitHub, via Kottke]

• Barack Obama talks to Rolling Stone, continues campaign to pre-blame Progressives for the midterm results.
• CIA escalates drone attacks in Pakistan to thwart rumored European terror spree.
• Appeals court lifts ban on stem-cell funding while case proceeds.
• CBO says extending Bush tax cuts will hurt economy.
• Germany makes final World War I reparations payment.
• Four in ten Americans cannot name the Vice President.
• Sharron Angle sucks at government teat.
• George Lucas not finished desecrating Star Wars, announces 3D versions of entire series starting in 2012.

Squirrels masturbate to avoid sexually transmitted infections [Discover, via PourMeCoffee]

Welcome to the Stinque Panel Discussion on Issues Concerning Stinque Panelists. Our first guest this morning is the Transportation Security Administration, here to tell us about an exciting career opportunity:

The Behavior Detection Officer (BDO) program utilizes non-intrusive behavior observation and analysis techniques to identify potentially high-risk passengers. BDOs are designed to detect individuals exhibiting behaviors that indicate they may be a threat to aviation and/or transportation security. The program is a derivative of other successful behavioral analysis programs that have been employed by law enforcement and security personnel both in the U.S. and around the world.

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“The continued search for extraterrestrial communication, by several entities, sustains the hope that some day humankind will receive signals from extraterrestrials. When we do, we should have in place a coordinated response that takes into account all the sensitivities related to the subject.”
—Mazlan Othman, UN Office for Outer Space Affairs

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