You’ve Got First Contact!
“The continued search for extraterrestrial communication, by several entities, sustains the hope that some day humankind will receive signals from extraterrestrials. When we do, we should have in place a coordinated response that takes into account all the sensitivities related to the subject.”
—Mazlan Othman, UN Office for Outer Space Affairs
|"Is Seymour there? Last name Butz."||Just hang up.|
|"Are you there, God? It’s me, Zorqar."||"Kill your son! Just kidding."|
|"I am Prince Dxykqmp,
former finance minister of Alpha Centauri, and I need your help."
|Wire check for 1,000 bricks of latinum.|
|"Nuq daq o’ puchpa e’"||"’Oy’ dasiqjaj"|
|"Ladies and gentlemen, Jay Leno!"||Recalibrate receiver.|
|"What happened to the Jets-Raiders game? All we’re getting is Heidi."||"Raiders scored two touchdowns
on three plays in the last minute."
|Hitler’s Olympics speech||Cheat Jodie Foster out of her discovery, get George Soros to bankroll wormhole gyropod, send back photo of Matthew McConaughey.|
|"Asalaam Alaikum."||Pretend like it never happened.|