While we here in the U.S. ponder the ramifications of the Congress passing health reform legislation, most Europeans are remembering a watershed event in modern history: the fall of the Berlin Wall.

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Looks like French Thetans are reporting to their landing stations today, thanks to a ruling in France that’s forcing the French branch of Scientology (preciously called, “Scientologie”) to pay up to a million bucks in fines.

There were two separate charges of fraud and extortion, filed by two women. One forked over about $40,000 for… well, whatever stupid shit Scientology makes you fork over money for. But the second, I believe, cut to the heart of France’s sense of entitlement:

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Ladies and gentlemen, your foreign correspondent brings you good tidings from Il Bel Paese – and I introduce you to our very own hot mess right wing nutjob, Mara Carfagna!

Adorable, isn’t she?  Yeah, she sucks; I’ll tell you why in a minute. But lest you think I’m grasping at straws to make the “hottie” comparison, join me after the jump for a photo from her previous career.

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Of all the heinously criminal dealings that have the potential to bring down Silvio Berlusconi, it seems as though he might just be done in by an 18-year-old chippie named Noemi Letizia. The irony, of course, is that it was La Berlusca himself who single-handedly created an Italian culture that couldn’t give a shit about real issues, but sinks its teeth into a scandal like a fucking pit bull.
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This photo of a forlorn-looking Eiffel Tower was taken by me, your intrepid Foreign Correspondent, at midnight on New Year’s Eve to document the fact that THERE WERE NO FIREWORKS. Little did I know, however, that all the action was happening out in les banlieues of Paris and beyond, where Champagne and canapés have been replaced by the annual torching of cars to ring in the New Year.
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American expats in Europe, please proceed in an orderly fashion to your nearest ATM – because tonight, drinks are on you!

Bloomberg is reporting what those of us too broke not to worry about such things already know – that the U.S. dollar, sinking like a Boilermaker shotglass for over a year now, has risen at a dizzying rate since early August to a 13-month high of $1.38 to the euro.

This chick says it has nothing to do with America’s economic crisis, but it’s funny how it all seemed to happen at once. Could it be that, like my super-rich friend and a top hedge fund manager, everyone is moving their money to T-Bills?  Don’t know, and don’t care – I’M RICH!
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