Best Financial Crisis Ever
American expats in Europe, please proceed in an orderly fashion to your nearest ATM – because tonight, drinks are on you!
Bloomberg is reporting what those of us too broke not to worry about such things already know – that the U.S. dollar, sinking like a Boilermaker shotglass for over a year now, has risen at a dizzying rate since early August to a 13-month high of $1.38 to the euro.
This chick says it has nothing to do with America’s economic crisis, but it’s funny how it all seemed to happen at once. Could it be that, like my super-rich friend and a top hedge fund manager, everyone is moving their money to T-Bills? Don’t know, and don’t care – I’M RICH!
To put this into perspective, let’s take my apartment here in the sunny South of France. If I had had this 575-euro apartment when I moved to Europe back in October of 2002, it would have cost me $567. At the dollar’s all-time low in July of this year, it was $909 (which is a lot of fucking money and therefore did not get paid on time). And today, after I gleefully call my landlord, Monsieur Jean-Jean, to inform him that I will be paying October’s loyer during the mois of October, I will go to the cashpoint and take out the equivalent of only $795.
My cigarettes are a buck cheaper than they were this summer, which adds up to $30 more a month, which means mommy needs some Veuve. Rome Boy can afford an extra pint tonight when he goes to the bar, a fact he’s keen to put to the test this evening. We’re finally replacing our broke-ass ghetto DVD player. We’re our own little economic stimulus.
While American expats understandably have strong sympathy for the plight of floor traders and home owners everywhere, there are tentative, giggling whispers in the dusty corners of bars all over Europe about all the money we suddenly have. So, you know, sorry about the world ending – I’m going shopping!