Silvio “Papi” Berlusconi: Oh, Come ON.

ballsy

Of all the heinously criminal dealings that have the potential to bring down Silvio Berlusconi, it seems as though he might just be done in by an 18-year-old chippie named Noemi Letizia. The irony, of course, is that it was La Berlusca himself who single-handedly created an Italian culture that couldn’t give a shit about real issues, but sinks its teeth into a scandal like a fucking pit bull.

His gaffes are many and known worldwide – calling Obama “tan,” the bandana/hairplugs incident with the Blairs (Cherie having just admitted last month they “only did it for Britain”) ,  encouraging L’Aquila earthquake victims to see their homelessness like a weekend of camping, etc.

But much less known, thanks to his iron-fisted control of the country’s media outlets, are the stories about the girls. This is because, as The Times of London reports, “He threatens those newspapers and televisions stations that he controls, invokes the law to protect his ‘privacy,’ issues evasive and contradictory statements and then melodramatically promises to resign if he is caught lying.”  In fact, the only major national newspaper to confront the chippie quetsion head-on has been La Repubblica.

Our precocious little Noemi (ahem, and NSFW) was the recipient of a 6,000-euro bracelet from “Papi” on the occasion of her 18th birthday. Seating at state dinners has been rearranged to accommodate her last-minute arrival. She’s been seen being whisked away in unmarked government vehicles to meetings with the diminutive, orange-hued leader. And when asked separately about the story behind and nature of their odd friendship, they both had startlingly different versions to tell.

In the midst of his wife filing for divorce, a “formal investigation for abuse of power” being filed just yesterday and a book called We, Silvio’s Girls hitting bookshelves next week (hilariously titled, given that it is in apparent defense of Berlusconi against the tales of his topless parties in Sardegna and his coterie of “aspiring models” to whom he promises seats in Parliament) – oh, and let’s not forget the EU elections – his increasingly smaller number of faithful minions have decided the best defense is a ridiculously ostentatious offense:

A Nobel Peace Prize nomination.

As the New York Times drolly observes, “Really.”

(photo courtesy of my buddy jinx/bkny)

40 comments:

1:21 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

I would LOVE to see him humiliated and driven from office.

1:24 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

The man makes Bill Clinton look like a choir boy. Bill had to hide his indiscretions. Silvio’s more Hefner.

2:01 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

Why doesn’t he just stand up and admit he goes through 12-20 teenage girls a day, one after another, in hour-long sequential shifts because that’s all the non-stop orgasming they can endure before they lose their minds? It’d give him a lift in the polls and he could stop hiding behind a transparent curtain of similarly ridiculous lies.

2:16 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@FlyingChainSaw: He can’t because he has just come out with a slick multimedia presentation about how he’s a family man. He tried the Red State move of being above it all, when he wasn’t. And we all know how that turns out for the people who try it.

@ManchuCandidate: At least with Bill, you could understand – the shutdown, she was coming onto him, etc. Silvio contacts modeling agencies and asks for photos to be sent over for his perusal.

3:43 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

I lurves our Europe Bureau.

There was a story in the New Yorker some time back about a lefty comedian/politician — no, a real one — who was gaining some traction in Italy. I forget all details, of course, but if that’s sufficiently recognizable, how’s he doin’?

3:53 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

Many thanks, RomeGirl. You brought some much needed levity to my day and some extra estrogen to the site.

3:56 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: That calls for another automotive post …

3:59 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@blogenfreude: …and a fashion related TJ of same.

4:02 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

Excuse me.

Chippie?

Explanation of term required. Plz kthxbai.

4:13 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@chicago bureau:
English term for “other woman”, I think.

4:19 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@ManchuCandidate: I’ve always thought of it as akin to “harlot” or “hussy,” kind of an old-fashioned word for a slut and/or whore. The British angle is interesting — can’t you just imagine QEII calling Di “that chippie”?

4:27 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@mellbell:
According to the urban dictionary, it’s both.

A younger female (sometimes dumb) dating older man (aka sugar daddy) and/or hussy.

4:35 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

WTF? In Italy, a man can get in trouble for having an affair? Please, say it ain’t so!

4:39 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@Prommie: What next, France? Didn’t Pompidou’s wife and mistress walk together behind the hearse?

4:48 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@chicago bureau: @ManchuCandidate: @mellbell: I dunno – it’s what my dad has always called “the other woman,” especially if said woman was 18 FUCKING YEARS OLD.

@Prommie: I’m tellin ya, it’s because he played the conservative Christian family man card. If he had shut up and tried to be classy, no one would give a shit. Everyone knows politicians are dity here – nothing happened after Mani Pulite scandals. But he had to scream from the mountain tops that he was different, and he flouted his private life as a selling point to his “product.” And then he goes around with the chippie, and he’s SHOCKED, SHOCKED to find everyone is aghast.

@Dodgerblue: Oh please, it’ll never happen in France. A man’s right to his mistress is in the constitution.

@nojo: I’ll have to ask my ghey mafia. They know all the cool shit.

4:48 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: Post is up … I double dare you.

4:53 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@RomeGirl: He’s the Italian David Vitter …

4:56 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

By the way, I cannot believe no one bit on the “only did it for Britain” quote or the NSFW pic. I obviously overestimated the depths to which we plunge.

4:57 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@blogenfreude: Actually, with his most recent foray into talk show land, he’s becoming like Blagojevich more and more every day.

5:09 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@RomeGirl: Bit? And at least Blago has his own hair.

5:16 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

Yeah, but she had the body of a 7-year old!

@RomeGirl: . . . especially if said woman was 18 FUCKING YEARS OLD.

5:18 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@nojo: It is indeed incredibly cool to have RG beating the fucking bejesus out of this fascist fuckwit on his home turf.

5:20 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@FlyingChainSaw: …I’m sure to be deported in the morning. Get the couch ready. And if you knew any seven year olds with an ass like that, I’d be scared.

5:24 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@RomeGirl: No chance. Silvio is terrified of making you a popular hero, knowing one false move from him, an uprising would follow with your loyal readers placing you in the PM’s seat in a lightning coup.

5:29 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@FlyingChainSaw: Werd! My tens of readers would stage a protest (hopefully involving mozzarella, tomato and basil sandwiches, and plenty of wine) and the administration would crumble as… well, as we… can you pass the wine?

P.S. I’d be an awesome PM.

5:32 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@RomeGirl: I love those sandwiches.

5:34 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@RomeGirl: Agreed. Once Silvio sees the sandwiches come out. Ball game. When you are PM, can I be Chancellor of the Exchequer? I have a nifty economic model based on sex on the beach and community concert bands.

5:36 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

Olde Europe. How quaint. They still do sex scandals the old-fashioned way: in the flesh with tasty young tarts instead of cyber-yiffing with underage young men.

5:38 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@FlyingChainSaw: Exchequer, definitely. All my administration’s position names will have the letter q in them.

@homo limeyensis: Right? He’s an old school philanderer, our Silvie.

7:34 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@RomeGirl: Put me down for anything with either “quaff”or “quim” in the job description.

10:05 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@RomeGirl: Oh, I am hated for it, but I respect the european view, not acceptance, really, but understanding, of the fact that, people can phsysically stray, without straying in terms of ultimate commitment, love, and even respect, for their spouse, and its not a sexist attitude of men have their urges, because I understand it extends to women as well.

And yes, flaunting of it, publicly insulting the spouse through indiscretion, is not tolerated, and hypocracy is not tolerated, even in France and Italy, which is as it should be.

And I also know that the european ways are not translatable to our society, because in our society, the understanding of marriage at the outset does not include this, whereas, in europe, it does.

10:09 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

It just hit me, he’s the Donald Trump of Europe, isn’t he?

10:10 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@Nabisco: Words with such different meanings, but, one can quaff a quim, metaphorically, can’t one?

10:34 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@Promnight: quite right.

Oh, I play quoits, as well.

10:45 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@Nabisco: You know you are doing it right when there is a lot of quivering. Quaking can happen, too, also. When questing, quivering quaking quims are involved, all is right with the world.

11:44 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

Prom = our own fuckin’ Dr. Seuss.

11:47 pm • Thursday • June 4, 2009

@Promnight: Don’t forget to chew QAT, the shot across the Scrabble bow from Dodger.

12:52 am • Friday • June 5, 2009

@SanFranLefty: I bow to SFL, who kicked my butt in Scrabble by running the table using all seven tiles.

1:12 am • Friday • June 5, 2009

@Dodgerblue: Maybe Stinque backgammon is next? Could be …

1:43 am • Friday • June 5, 2009

@Dodgerblue: Use ’em or lose ’em, sugarplum.

Really, my ruthless bitch side comes out in board games. My parents stopped playing backgammon and chess with me when I was 8 because it got really ugly.

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