Gone in Thirty Minutes

ferrari_612_scaglietti_2004

This is a Ferrari 612 Scaglietti.  It has twelve cylinders, four seats, and two doors.  It costs as much as twelve Toyota Priuses. It does zero to sixty in 4.2 seconds and has a top speed of 195 miles per hour. I think it’s one of the most beautiful cars they’ve ever built.

But if you buy one, you’ll need to be very careful on the ride home, as you’ll see after the jump.

russian-ferrari-fire

Yes, it’s a spontaneously combusting Ferrari that was driven off the lot only 30 minutes earlier.  That will not buff right out.

In Soviet Russia, Half-Hour-Old Ferrari Fires You! [Jalopnik]

And, because a certain commenter couldn’t control herself, you all have to watch this video:

I would so play that game.

And, if you care at this point, here’s Jeremy Clarkson flinging a Scaglietti around:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7k7NkBheEMs

65 Comments

Awww… not really. Hope it was a Hedge Fund Managers.

@ManchuCandidate: Can you imagine? You work hard all your life (not that this owner did – I don’t know), you buy your dream car, and poof! Once, driving through Chicago, I saw a guy standing by the side of the road next wrecked Jag, and it still had PAPER TAGS on it.

See Boris! This is why we can’t have nice things.

@blogenfreude:
I lurve Michelle’s purple dress. And that she’s giving the First Gentleman of Germany a “Bish, plz” look.

In Oklahoma, I usually only had to wait a couple of weeks for every new car to get hail damage. No more worrying about door dings! I always took the insurance money and went to Europe.

@SanFranLefty: Ooh, that’s the Thakoon she wore in Paris and it’s great on her. See, she recycles her outfits, just like us! I’d be pissed off too, Michelle, if Herr Merkel only offered me Coke, juice, or water. This is not snack break at a kindergarten.

I think they had a problem with the F430s spontaneously catching fire. E.g. http://www.ferrarifaqs.com/f430-on-fire.html.

This guy was asking for it. If he wanted to ride with distinguishing ultrabadness, he’d have gotten a 1972 Buick Electra 225, removed the muffler, taken out all the doors and trunk lid and placed a sniper’s nest in the trunk for security.

@Mistress Cynica: @SanFranLefty: That dress is divine, but I kind of want a duvet cover in that fabric, or dozens of throw pillows.

@Jamie Sommers: It was a Natasha, not a Boris.
@SanFranLefty: And, because of you, I have added a video that everyone is required to watch. Wish I could play that game.

@FlyingChainSaw: On the I-710 in L.A., you need one of those.

@SanFranLefty: I dunnno. It reminds me of curtains for some reason. I love, love, loved the black dress she wore on NYC date night! Although in some pictures, she appears to be wearing a navy blue short sleeved cardigan with it. I know its the latest thing to combine those colors, but it wasn’t really working for me.

@Mistress Cynica: Speaking of Thakoon, I need to find that black and white Thakoon coat she wore on the way to Andrews for the Euro Trip. That’s the kind of expensive fashion I can get behind because it’ll look chic and fabulous for years and years.

Are any of you watching The Fashion Show aka The Faux Project Runway? I can’t believe none of those people can fucking sew!

@blogenfreude: It’s always Boris’ fault.
ADD: Video FAIL! That was only about 1 minute of crashing and 4 minutes of talking.

@Jamie Sommers: Be careful – if you keep messing with me, I’ll start posting on power tools.

@FlyingChainSaw: You’re the one who bought my dad’s Electra?

@Jamie Sommers: @RomeGirl: @Mistress Cynica: それは最後の旅行からのヨーロッパへミシェールの古い写真である-私が立腹のポストの彼女の見、彼の鎖を強く引っ張り方法事とthreadjackのBloggieの車のポストにgirlyできるだけ早くたいと思ったのはちょうど最初の様式の写真だった。 私はThakoonの白黒コートを愛した。

Terribly sorry everyone – WordPress, for some reason, is translating some of the comments into Japanese. But fear not, because nojo is working on the problem, and things should be back to normal by, say, July.

@blogenfreude: Πού είναι BeRightBack; Μπορεί να μεταφράσει για μας.

Damn – now it’s doing Greek. I fear this fix might take a while.

@blogenfreude:

I guess this would be a bad time to do a TJ about hot Asian guys.

@blogenfreude: @SanFranLefty: I’m moderately adept with kanji, but the katakan-hiragana fusion of modern Japanese totally baffles me.

@Also sprach Tommmcatt: It would be difficult for me to imagine a worse time.
@Nabisco: My girlfriend gave me the hiragana/katakana book, but I’m pretty flummoxed so far.

@Jamie Sommers: If you didn’t like that video, you will almost certainly not like this one.

@blogenfreude: Were you banned from Jalopnik or something?

Okay, who’s fucking around with non-Latin character sets?

@nojo: Constantia et pertinacia, Nojo.

Incidentally, how does something THAT engineered to perfection just, you know, decide to blow up? Is it a persistent design flaw or was this the hand of chaos?

ADD: hehehe. I think it says something about this site that I used the word “incidentally” to begin a post that was actually on topic to begin with.

@SanFranLefty: Dunno – maybe Wonkette axed commenters who never comment – it’s the same account.

@blogenfreude:
Nope. It’s different now. W and Gawker sites are separate.

@SanFranLefty: Hey remember the Saturn challenge on PR where they had to make outfits out of carparts? I thought the seat belt coat should have won.

/merges worlds nicely

@ManchuCandidate: Still works, in fact.
@Also sprach Tommmcatt: I would guess electrics or some sort of fuel leak. I don’t know if they build the 612 on a line (like the 599) or not – it’s a lower production model. Handbuilding is less accurate than an elaborate factory, such as built the 430 and aforementioned 599 Here’s a video about the factory.

I added a video to this post – Jeremy Clarkson flinging a Scaglietti around the track, if anyone gives a shit at this point.

@Jamie Sommers: I loved that seat-belt coat. A woman I play soccer with has a purse that was made out of seatbelts, which I covet.

Oh, and Bloggie and I (at least I think, last time I checked) reached a detente – if he stops posting car shit, I will stop threadjacking with fashion.

If nothing else, we will shun and shame him until he stops censoring me, which is so fucking uncool and so totally unStinquey.

@Jamie Sommers: That seat belt coat was awesome. Not watching TFS because I no longer have the good cable–just local channels, WGN, and Discovery.
We Vagina-Americans need some equal-time posts–fashion, man-candy to counteract all the automotive/Stormy activity. I’m betting teh gheyz would agree.
I can’t wait to see what this comment looks like in Hindi.

U@SanFranLefty: It reminds me of the disemvowler on Sadly No.

@Mistress Cynica: I am up for anything that brings on the hot guys.

Out of boredom, I have been searching for random names I remember from high school and college, and sending friend requests; am I in a bad way?

@Promnight: That’s how I found my senior prom date … I might be in a bad way as well.

@Promnight: Careful with that. I found out my grade school boyfriend was a grandfather. Now I’m depressed.

@Promnight:
I won’t go there. Too much time between those days.

@Mistress Cynica: Whats been depressing me is that all the high school friends I have found look great, just as they were, bastards. I am thinking thats why they post their pictures.

I have spoken before about how my life has completely removed me from any friends at all dating from before, oh, last year, basically, and the absence makes me feel I have just completely lost my own younger self. I have so many fond memories of people I have had no contact with at all for 29 years.

Speaking of cars, has anyone seen PJ O’Rourkes essay blaming the demise of the detroit automakers on feminism and the internet? Its his best writing in 20 years.

@Mistress Cynica: Exactly. Or we need to get on the asses (so to speak) of our beloved Homofascist and Rome Girl to get some equal fucking time to 5 car/Stormy posts a day.

Gee, I sure hope this post doesn’t get disvoweled or turned into Sanskrit by our non-car owning UWS overlord.

@SanFranLefty: I made you a promise … and I mean to keep it. No car posts on weekdays. Unlimited commenting on scarves, and sweaters, and coats … and I won’t use Babelfish to turn fashion comments into Bulgarian. It’s not easy for me, but this I promise.

@SanFranLefty: But just in case you wanted to see what it looked like in Bulgarian, I have done the translation. Which means – not only have I left your comment intact, I have added value by letting you see your comment IN BULGARIAN. Name another blog where the customer service is as good! Nick whatshisname? I think NOT:

Точно . Или ние трябва да започнем за задниците (така да говорим) На нашия човек Homofascist и момиче в Рим, което ще получава някакъв равен шибан момент на 5 автомобилът на бурни изпраща ден.

Gee, i сигурни се надяват, че този пост не не е изкълчил Ди svoweled Or в Sanskrit до нашия не-автомобил, притежаващ UWS властелин,.

Waiting for someone to copy edit the Bulgarian.

@redmanlaw: I am a full service blogger; it’s been done. Icelandic? Just ask. Navajo? Eh, I’d have to contract it out. But my commenters come first. We’re doing important work here.

@SanFranLefty: If nothing else, we will shun and shame him until he stops censoring me, which is so fucking uncool and so totally unStinquey.

Wha-wha-whaaaa? Right after I mocked Wonkette for their anal-retentive commenting policy? Hell, I even let Hal Turner issue a fatwa against us, and didn’t even think to call the FBI.

@redmanlaw: I know a seriously underemployed person in Prague and another one in Paris who were either Peace Corps or FSOs in Sofia, and I will recruit them to correct any dialectric mistakes in that Bulgarian translation.

@blogenfreude: Oh, and Babelfish ain’t perfect, if I just judge on some translations in the two languages I know.

P.S. TRUCE = Me and the other girlz/gheyz welcome our fashion threads uninterrupted. You and the boyz can go shoot your guns and cars without us.

@nojo: Dude, all I’m saying is delete or allow. Clear line.

Don’t play with the comments. It’s a slippery slope from playing cutesy translation games with what I write into Sanskrit or Bulgarian or weird Japanese, to creative editing of the comments of me or anyone else to make us look like a moronic ass fuck.

If a Stinque Editor doesn’t like me or what I say, pull up your big het boy panties and bring it on and engage me. Don’t change into Sanskrit or hide or elide or your verb of the day what I said because you want to watch cars go boom and you don’t want to listen to me and Homofascist and Cynica and Jamie rave or rant about purple dresses.

’tis all.

@SanFranLefty: BMW M5, Aston Martin, and Nissan GT-R posts to follow. Babelfish, of course, will not make sense of the supercars I wield!
So here it is in Dutch:

BMW M5, Aston Martin, en de te volgen posten van Nissan GT-r. Babelfish, natuurlijk, zal geen van supercars steek houden die ik heb gehanteerd!

If it makes sense, that’s good. If not, my Belgian friends who read this blog will chastise me appropriately.

Cars really aren’t my thing and neither is fashion. But I read it all here because I like the insight which is why I’m here.

Bloggie, I like you, but sometimes you need to know when to back off.

The situation with the DeWalt 18.4 volt batteries is criminal, thats all I have to say about power tools.

@Promnight:
I heard O’Rourke talk about it on NPR yesterday morning. He was funny and on the money. He’s been an asshole for so long, I didn’t think he had anything left Woe Is My Car Industry

那辆车子太好了, 下周我看到一个了。

@RZ: Sorry – I wasn’t at my desk when that was posted – not guilty. Does it call me a name? Question my parentage?

@nojo:

Ooh. Link me to the Hal Turner thing, I missed that.

@nojo: And now he’ll have a lot of time on his hands to fine tune that list. Priorities, after all.

@nojo:

You should just put the words “Hal Turner Sucks Clap Peen” randomly in every post. Then he’d have to through read our islamofacistsociolicicalhomoaicalms to get that tiny fame rush his obese ego craves so much…

@nojo: It was great. He was always too shitfaced to drive shotgun and give directions but he was ace in the machine gun nest.

Add a Comment
Please log in or register to post a comment