Long Face: Talibunny's 'Servant's Heart' Will Need to be Backed Up by an Eager Tongue Where She Is Going! Hahahahahahaha! Ha! Ha! Hahahahahaha!

GOP circus freak and failed vice-presidential candidate Sarah ‘Talibunny’ Palin shit her knickers this week and abandoned her governorship of Alaska after apparently being informed that she is facing indictment for conspiring with an Alaska contractor to inflate the price of a Wasilla sports complex she championed there as mayor in trade for the supplies and building labor on her nearby home, reports say.

The a11news.com summarized today:

The embezzlement scandal involves the massive, $12.5 million sports complex that Sarah Palin pushed through during her last term as Mayor in Wasilla. Federal investigators believe the price of the sports complex was inflated to provide free building materials and labor for the Palin home being constructed nearby.

Read more »

It’s Bulwer-Lytton time.  Why do I always first head for “Vile Puns”?

Using her flint knife to gut the two amphibians, Kreega the Neanderthal woman created the first pair of open-toad sandals.

Greg Homer
Placerville, CA

Also excellent:

Read more »

Hide the underage boys:

ClownHall via John Cole.

Ultafuckingobamabadness! Leader of the free world checks out a new Czech AK-47 that he will use to shred GOP gang leader Dick Cheney

Weary of the taunts of GOP gang leader and war entrepreneur Dick Cheney, President Barack Obama is in training at a secret military encampment in the Smokey Mountains with a number of special forces personnel and martial arts masters, honing his fighting skills to prepare for the final confrontation with this murderous, profiteering dog.

“Cheney’s working with his own fifth column in Defense and BushCo’s long-time allies in Saudi Arabia to direct attacks against the United States to discredit my administration, to re-establish the GOP junta and, finally, to reinvigorate the war-driven gravy train that has bolstered his Halliburton stock and fattened his offshore accounts with no-bid contract kickbacks. Clearly, it’s time to rip the treasonous motherfucker’s throat out,” President Barack Obama said.

Reporters, spirited to the training camp blindfolded earlier in the day for the press conference, looked stunned for a moment and then burst into applause shouting, “Death! Death! Death to the traitorous dog, fearless leader!” Obama grimaced briefly and silenced the ink-stained wretches by firing a burst into the air.

Read more »

My Money, You Sick Gangster, My Money and They'll Be No Trouble

Banking has indeed changed since Reagan declared America’s financial system was open for looting. In fact, what used to be a relatively consumer friendly system has been transformed, most dramatically at the money center banks, into a rapacious house of horrors in which usary laws have been essentially repealed and retail customers regarded as suckers ready to be stomped unconscious and ass-raped into quivering comas.

Your balance dipped below $100,000? Oh, hey, sorry, asshole, but the poor are deeply fucking offensive and maintaining a piece of shit account like that is going to cost you.  Didn’t keep track of the fact that we changed the due date and grace period on your credit card 16 times in 11 months and you paid late?  Shame you can’t pay fucking attention, asshole, because you’ve exposed yourself as a bad risk and are subject to 550% interest. Oh, you’re going to cancel the card? Try it, fuckface, just try it and we’ll file a credit report that will have the sorry fucks holding your note calling it in and putting you on the street so fast your spine will stop flying a half hour after you come to rest.

Read more »

Eric Holder better get his ass in gear if he wants a crack at everyone’s favorite war criminals:

MADRID, (AP) — A Spanish court has agreed to consider opening a criminal case against six former Bush administration officials, including former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, over allegations they gave legal cover for torture at Guantanamo Bay, a lawyer in the case said Saturday.

Human rights lawyers brought the case before leading anti-terror judge Baltasar Garzon, who agreed to send it on to prosecutors to decide whether it had merit, Gonzalo Boye, one of the lawyers who brought the charges, told The Associated Press.

Gonzo can’t get a job, so maybe he could do some jailhouse lawyering once he gets to The Hague.

Read more »

As of ten minutes ago, Mark Begich is now 3,724 votes to the good over Tubes, with the vote counting to be virtually finished tonight.  That’s a lead of about 1.2%. 

That’ll be Sen. Begich to you clowns. This thing is OVAH.

[UPDATE: AP calls it, per not-Keef on MSNBC. Again: OVAH!]