We know we’re late to this one, what with the cancellation and all, but there’s something about the finale to Alec Baldwin’s Potty-Mouthed Tirade that fascinates us. Seems he disputes what everybody thinks they heard when he cussed out an intrusive street photographer:

You can’t really tell what I’m saying… if I called him ‘cocksucking maggot’ or a ‘cocksucking motherfucker’… ‘faggot’ is not the word that came out of my mouth.

Baldwin insists that he didn’t say faggot. But he freely admits to cocksucking.

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For the record, this is not THE ACTUAL BATMOBILE that we saw at the Lane County Fairgrounds in 1968, forever disappointed that it didn’t SPEW FIRE FROM ITS ARSE.

On the other hand, this model does spew fire from its arse, which, for a cool two hundred large, it damn well better.

So we won’t mind — really! — if you decide to splurge this Dark Black Friday and buy it. And have it delivered. To us. In Sandy Eggo. Because whatever your expense, our childhood closure is priceless.

The Authentic 1966 Batmobile [Hammacher Schlemmer, via Comics Alliance]

Every time we think we’re ready to let go of the Talibunny Turkey Beheading, we just can’t. It’s only been five years, but it’s also been forever — forever in our heart, forever in the idea that some form of this must go back to the Greeks somehow, a sacrifice to Hermes that went horribly wrong, leading to the creation of Hades: a place where the living go to die, only to discover that there is no escape from other Departed Assholes, a Memento Mori that we the living are both Turkey and Executioner.

Or maybe it’s because we just can’t stop giggling at it. There’s also that.

Lost Lake Cafe & Lounge:

We recently had to ask a rude customer to leave because of their insistence on wearing and operating Google Glasses inside the restaurant. So for the record, here’s Our Official Policy on Google Glass:

We kindly ask our customers to refrain from wearing and operating Google Glasses inside Lost Lake. We also ask that you not videotape anyone using any other sort of technology. If you do wear your Google Glasses inside, or film or photograph people without their permission, you will be asked to stop, or leave. And if we ask you to leave, for God’s sake, don’t start yelling about your “rights”. Just shut up and get out before you make things worse.

Adam Ott:

You lost my business and probably dozens of my friends will be boycotting your establishment! Learn how the technology works! What if I wanted to take a picture of my food…. Idiots!

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Title: “Miracles and Massacres: True and Untold Stories of the Making of America”

Author: Glenn Beck

Rank: 8

Blurb: “The reason why gun control is so important to government elites can be found in a story about Athens that no one dares teach. Not the city in ancient Greece, but the one in 1946 Tennessee.”

Review: “In his inimitable style, Glenn Beck writes that all the stories can be put into one of three categories: ‘The good guys win; the good guys win, but it takes a while; or the good guys lose because people put their trust into politicians instead of each other.'”

Customers Also Bought: “The United States vs. Santa Claus: The Untold Story of the Actual War on Christmas”

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Title: “Soul Healing Miracles: Ancient and New Sacred Wisdom, Knowledge, and Practical Techniques for Healing the Spiritual, Mental, Emotional, and Physical Bodies”

Author: Zhi Gang Sha

Rank: 22

Blurb: “For the first time, The Source Ling Guang (Soul Light) Calligraphy will be offered in a book. These Source Calligraphies carry matter, energy, and soul of The Source, which can transform the matter, energy, and soul of the spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical bodies.”

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Title: “The Man Who Killed Kennedy: The Case Against LBJ”

Author: Roger Stone

Rank: 97

Blurb: “Combining decades of insider political knowledge with cutting edge JFK assassination research, Roger Stone lays out the case that Lyndon Johnson manipulated the situation in Dallas on November 22, 1963, and murdered Kennedy as he murdered numerous other victims along the way.”

Author Blurb: “Roger Stone … served as a senior staffer in eight national Republican Presidential Campaigns including those of Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan and George H. W. Bush. Stone is also credited with … the shut-down of 2000 recount that made George W. Bush President. In 2012 Stone joined the Libertarian Party.”

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