(This comment was removed by the site staff.)
—bee20nine, 11:38 a.m.

That’s untrue, my wife was the choreographer for the play. There wasn’t any kind of squabbling about the play itself.
—ericmoritz, 11:45 a.m., in response to bee20nine

(This comment was removed by the site staff.)
—spindaddy, 11:46 a.m.

Pro-gun? Are you on something? I’ve gone there my whole life, and the UU church has members that have a whole spectrum opinions on the subject. But if anything, they are strongly FOR gun control…being all over non-violence and all.
—akaikasa, 11:59 a.m., in response to spindaddy

think about it: a “pro-gun” church is the LAST place someone would want to go into to try to shoot up.
—apriest, 12:07 p.m., in response to spindaddy

Well, I don’t know why anyone would ASSUME the gunman to be a Baptist…WHERE did you pull THAT from?
—daisies2187, 12:25 p.m.

my question is “What is an ‘Annie’ broadway play doing in a ‘worship’ service?”
—robert.flores, 12:44 p.m.

WHO CARES what play the children were performing?!?!
—pmeisman, 12:56 p.m.

This was a shotgun, and while someone sitting in church with a pistol in their pocket may sound terrible, if someone in this church had a pistol they could have taken this guy down with one shot and saved the last 3 or 4 people who were shot.
—justisiscumin, 2:06 p.m.

Lumpy [Lambert, county commissioner] was just on 100.3 and was braggin’ about how he and his pastor were estimatin’ that about a hundred of their parishioners were ‘packin’. Gawd, what have we come to?
—cjensen, 2:55 p.m.

this is why I ALWAYS carry a weapon, even to Church. I do believe I am the most responsible for my safety, my wife’s safety – although she too carries – and possibility of others. We do see “don’t react-call the police”. Ok, if you do have a chance to call 9-1-1 it will take them 6-14 minutes average to respond. You could be awful dead in 6-14 minutes.
—NoMoreRetreat, 6:55 p.m.

There’s more than likely people from around the nation visiting this site to try to get details of this tragedy, tonight, and all the ignorance thats been displayed on this thread will fuel the negative stereotypes for our area.
—LawnDart, 10:54 p.m.

[Comments from KnoxNews and WBIR]

[Editor’s note: We introduce a new weekly feature this morning because the old one was boring us to tears. Although we had a great line prepared about Karl Rove as Celebrity Chum for Shark Week.]

A 79-year-old Oklahoma City man was killed Thursday when he was crushed in the front seat of his car.

By a church steeple.

The man was watching a crane lift the steeple onto the new Grace Assembly of God when the crane’s arm buckled. His wife, sitting in the back seat, was unharmed. Both were longtime members.

Despite the evidence before them, church leaders remain unfazed.

“We’re looking at it from the perspective that God is a God of grace. God is a God of mercy. God is a God of love,” said Rev. Joe Hancock.

A church’s day of hope turns tragic as crane falls, killing longtime member [NewsOK]

Okla. crane fall kills man watching construction [AP]

In what is either the greatest threat to Western civilization since fluoridation, or the solution to a Malthusian future where riots break out over suspiciously tasty green crackers, researchers have discovered a link between soy consumption and reduced male fertility.

And the soy industry is not taking it laying down.

Nigel Duffin, who runs the Soya Protein Association when he’s not moonlighting as lead guitar for Spinal Tap, claims the Harvard report fails to tell the whole load-blowing story:

Several studies have been conducted into soya and fertility, including a study undertaken in 2001, where healthy young men where supplemented with soya during a two-month period. Ejaculated volume, sperm concentration, count and motility of sperm cells were not affected. No soya study with humans has ever shown a negative relationship between soya and sperm mobility and quality.

Duffin goes on to point out that since Asians fuck like bunnies, the Harvard researchers must have overlooked more obvious causes. But the more pressing question is this: What are the protocols for those studies? And when will Whole Foods start stocking Soy Porn?

Soya not the cause of low sperm counts [Guardian UK]

Although, now that you mention it, the deer threesome is a thing to behold. And we’d really like to get the Back-Door Pandas as a gift for that special someone, but the museum store seems to be down at the moment. But at least we now know what Colonel Hathi and Winifred were doing when Junior wasn’t looking.

Animals Get Freaky at Museum of Sex [Wired]

Sex Lives of Animals (press images) [Museum of Sex]

Speaking of Leni Riefenstahl, which seemed unavoidable yesterday, remember the 2004 Olympics? The games featuring the debut of “free Iraq”? It made for great political theater, bringing an election-year tear to everyone’s eye.

Well, um, not this time.

No, the Iraqis haven’t been overcome by Free Tibet solidarity. Instead, they’re in a pissing match with the International Olympic Committee over the membership of their national committee. The Iraqi government replaced the IOC-approved committee after it failed to meet a quorum, and the IOC condemns such “political interference.”

Which, on most days, would be the punchline.

But not this day. As befits a country whose citizens now lead what John McCain calls “normal lives,” the fired committee failed to meet its quorum because four of its members were kidnapped two years ago and remain missing.

Iraqi Athletes ‘Unlikely’ to Compete at Olympics [NYT]

We’re having a hard time finding something to piss us off at the moment, and we really don’t want to resort to Mystery Paultard Rock Stars, so let’s type “outrage” into Google News and see what turns up:

The parent of teen Wiffle ball player expressed outrage yesterday…

See? Right there — right there — our faith in America is restored. As long as it’s still possible, in the year of our fucking lord 2008, to start a sentence like that without pitching it to the Onion, we just might yet regain our virginity as a nation.

Okay, so it’s Connecticut. But still.

So here’s the deal: Some juvenile delinquents have riled up the town by creating an unauthorized wiffle-ball field on a drainage lot. The neighbors are so upset by this disrespect for authority that one of them anonymously mailed a kid’s police report to the rest — attached to a snide note saying “Wiffle ball kids are great kids.”

The offense? Stealing fireworks from a house. Clearly a Bad Seed.

And thus the outrage, since juvenile records should be private.

Alas, the story doesn’t have a happy ending — the town shut down the field last Friday. On the other hand, the nearby manufacturers of Wiffle balls say sales are booming from the publicity.

Leaked report causes outrage [Greenwich Time]

It’s a “double-elimination” tournament. Don’t ask.

Delphos (Ohio) Herald