America, America
We’re having a hard time finding something to piss us off at the moment, and we really don’t want to resort to Mystery Paultard Rock Stars, so let’s type “outrage” into Google News and see what turns up:
The parent of teen Wiffle ball player expressed outrage yesterday…
See? Right there — right there — our faith in America is restored. As long as it’s still possible, in the year of our fucking lord 2008, to start a sentence like that without pitching it to the Onion, we just might yet regain our virginity as a nation.
Okay, so it’s Connecticut. But still.
So here’s the deal: Some juvenile delinquents have riled up the town by creating an unauthorized wiffle-ball field on a drainage lot. The neighbors are so upset by this disrespect for authority that one of them anonymously mailed a kid’s police report to the rest — attached to a snide note saying “Wiffle ball kids are great kids.”
The offense? Stealing fireworks from a house. Clearly a Bad Seed.
And thus the outrage, since juvenile records should be private.
Alas, the story doesn’t have a happy ending — the town shut down the field last Friday. On the other hand, the nearby manufacturers of Wiffle balls say sales are booming from the publicity.
¡ANDREW! • Other Useful Exposure Notifications @nojo: Apparently they have cliff divers to entertain patrons while they enjoy their meals. Mr. A!…
NOJO • Other Useful Exposure Notifications @¡Andrew!: So that’s not the waterpark? Been here eight years, still get my landmarks confused.
¡ANDREW! • Other Useful Exposure Notifications I saw that Casa Bonita is reopening in Denver OMGOMGOMG!! Y'all are so lucky--it'll be mass…
¡ANDREW! • Other Useful Exposure Notifications America Is An Out-Of-Touch Gerontocracy, And I’m Glad I Don’t Live There "These has-been…
¡ANDREW! • Other Useful Exposure Notifications Can we get a proof of life from Merrique "let them eat endless investigations" Garlandtoinette?…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Bye! And the drips keep on coming. With each lame denial comes another revelation about Justice Ruckus.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Bye! @¡Andrew!: Before we found about why Thomas goes as the Crow flies (in a private jet.)
¡ANDREW! • Bye! Survey Finds Nearly 6 In 10 Wealthy Americans Living Fraud To Fraud WASHINGTON—Noting that the…
NOJO • Bye! @¡Andrew!: From what I’m seeing in bits and pieces, yeah, Licht. CNN under Zucker was bad…
¡ANDREW! • Bye! @nojo: When life gives you Lemons (shrug). Not particularly sad, since: 1. Who still watches…