Our fact-checking for the following consists of desperately wanting it to be true:

Dominic Deville stalks young victims for a week, sending chilling texts, making prank phone calls and setting traps in letterboxes.

He posts notes warning children they are being watched, telling them they will be attacked.

But Deville is not an escaped lunatic or some demonic monster.

He is a birthday treat, hired by mum and dad, and the ‘attack’ involves being splatted in the face with a cake.

‘The child feels more and more that it is being pursued,’ said Deville.

Feels?

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You’re going to need the new Stinque Rimshot Button for this…

Try the Veal:

[ Flash video not available, but the Rimshot Button’s in the sidebar. ]

[Daily News, via DodgerBlue]

Or if you want to pull out another Sixties chestnut, Sgt. Stein is a “meteorologist for the base’s 1st Marine Expeditionary Force” — a Weatherman…

A Camp Pendleton Marine is running smack up against the limits of what uniform-wearing Americans are allowed to say about their government after his Facebook page for “Armed Forces Tea Party Patriots” sparked concern among his superiors Tuesday.

Sgt. Gary Stein, 24, was set to do a television interview with MSNBC when he got called back to the base to go over the Pentagon’s directive on political activities. Stein chose to remove the page, launched three weeks ago, until he has reviewed his obligations under military code.

No worries, the page is back up. And we’re cool at Stinque World Domination Headquarters — any revolt at the base has to fight I-5 traffic to reach us.

Marine scrutinized over Facebook page [San Diego Union-Tribune]

Armed Forces Tea Party [Facebook]

Left: The logo for the Nuclear Security Summit.

Right: Pakistan’s flag.

Haven’t we been here before?

Once again, conservatives see Muslim conspiracy in an administration logo [ThinkProgress]

Nobody on the Internet knows you’re Iggy.

[via a long chain ending with Blue Gal]

Trey and Matt talk to Xeni Jardin of Boing Boing on the eve of rolling the episode odometer. Looking back on a dozen years of respected and popular achievement, Trey accepts his fate: “We’re not punk anymore.”

Gateway Pundit:

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