Our afternoon guest columnist is Anonymous. We think. Please, for the sake of your epistemological health, let’s just stipulate that as given, okay?

Dear Phred Phelps and WBC Phriends,

So we’ve been hearing a lot about some letter that we supposedly sent you this morning. Problem is, we’re a bit groggy and don’t remember sending it. Our best guess is that you heard about us on that newfangled TV of yours and thought we might be some good money for your little church.

You thought you could play with Anonymous. You observed our rising notoriety and thought you would exploit our paradigm for your own gain. And then, you thought you could lure some idiots into a honeypot for more IPs to sue.

This is not so foreign to us; as you may have heard, we trade in Lulz. You just do not have enough to offer right now.

While Anonymous thanks you for your interest, and would certainly like to take a break and have some fun with you guys, we have more pressing matters to deal with at the moment.

But, we will keep this application on file, and will certainly contact you if any openings become available in future.

Next time, don’t call us. We’ll call you.

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Libya Live Blog [Al Jazeera]

Ways you can help WorldNetDaily continue to profitably feign outrage over an issue their own evidence disproves:

• Order the WND “Obama Eligibility Primer”: $7.95
• Donate to the WND “Where’s the Birth Certificate?” billboard campaign: $2 – $5,000
• Buy the WND “A Question Of Eligibility” DVD, featuring Orly Taitz: $17.99

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Holy holy fuck:

A 6.3-magnitude earthquake in Christchurch, New Zealand, on Tuesday afternoon, seriously damaged the city’s cathedrals, burst water mains, buckled streets and shut down phone service, according to media reports.

The U.S. Geological Survey said the quake struck just before 1 p.m. Tuesday (7 p.m. Monday ET), and a 5.6-magnitude aftershock struck about 15 minutes later.

Speaking from experience: Anything over 6.0 is a wild ride.

New Zealand rattled by strong quake [CNN]

“Members of Libya’s mission to the United Nations renounced Col. Muammar el-Qaddafi on Monday, calling him a genocidal war criminal responsible for mass shootings of demonstrators protesting against his four decades in power. They called upon him to resign.” [NYT, via Political Wire]

Former aide rips Palin in leaked book manuscript [Anchorage Daily News]

“Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi has fled Libya and may be heading for Venezuela, William Hague said today. The Foreign Secretary said he had seen ‘information’ that suggests Gaddafi is on his way to the South American country — as Libya was up in flames today with reports of around 400 dead.” [Daily Mail]