So a twister kills 117 people and takes out Joplin, Missouri. What’s the first thing that crosses Eric Cantor’s mind?

The No. 2 House Republican said that if Congress doles out additional money to assist in the aftermath of natural disasters across the country, the spending may need to be offset.

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) said “if there is support for a supplemental, it would be accompanied by support for having pay-fors to that supplemental.”

Ah, the cooler heads of fiscal responsibility in times of crisis. If you were wondering, Cantor’s the guy who worries about the water bill when the firetrucks pull up.

Eric Cantor: Disaster relief must be offset [Politico]

“With Governor Daniels deciding over the weekend not to run, it is slowly dawning on the Republican mind that the party’s choice may effectively come down to Mitt Romney or Tim Pawlenty. This prospect produces a range of emotions running from disappointment to panic.” [NRO]

Our guest colloquists are Time reporter Michael Crowley and Tim Pawlenty, who formally announced Monday his parody campaign for United States President. Our lawyers advise you not to read the following if you plan on driving or operating heavy machinery in the next eight hours.

TIME: I think [Haley Barbour] phrased it well: You have to be ready for a ten-year commitment to this onslaught. And you are going to go into the history books, and you will be sending people to their deaths. And all that gravity, it must start stirring up, I don’t know, in the middle of the night. I mean, in other words, surely before the fall of 2009 you started to think to yourself, ‘Can I do this? Am I one of these chosen few in history?’ And where did that germinate from?

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“California preacher Harold Camping said Monday his prophecy that the world would end was off by five months because Judgment Day actually will come on October 21.” [AP/CBS]

While we were all awaiting the Rapture — say, how’d that work out? — former pizza magnate Herman Cain formally announced his candidacy for Preznit:

We don’t need to rewrite the Constitution of the United States of America, we need to reread the Constitution and enforce the Constitution… And I know that there are some people that are not going to do that, so for the benefit of those who are not going to read it because they don’t want us to go by the Constitution, there’s a little section in there that talks about “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

Oops! But hey, we took Herman’s advice and found something in the Constitution that says “three fifths of all other Persons”. What’s that about?

Lecturing Americans To ‘Reread’ Constitution, Herman Cain Confuses It With Declaration of Independence [ThinkProgress]

Give them credit for consistency: “Are U.S. Sen. Marco Rubio of Florida and Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal natural-born citizens of the United States, and thus eligible for the presidency?” [WND]

“A new Arbitron report shows Rush Limbaugh’s ratings down 33% from a year ago and Sean Hannitty down 28% over the same time period. Meanwhile, more centrist personalities — Don Imus in the morning and John Batchelor at night — were both up from a year earlier.” [Political Wire]