Tim Pawlenty, Man of Destiny

Our guest colloquists are Time reporter Michael Crowley and Tim Pawlenty, who formally announced Monday his parody campaign for United States President. Our lawyers advise you not to read the following if you plan on driving or operating heavy machinery in the next eight hours.

TIME: I think [Haley Barbour] phrased it well: You have to be ready for a ten-year commitment to this onslaught. And you are going to go into the history books, and you will be sending people to their deaths. And all that gravity, it must start stirring up, I don’t know, in the middle of the night. I mean, in other words, surely before the fall of 2009 you started to think to yourself, ‘Can I do this? Am I one of these chosen few in history?’ And where did that germinate from?

PAWLENTY: You know, I don’t know. I wish I had a good answer for you for that. I didn’t seriously consider it until recently, and I could have gone either way with the decision in the sense that over this last holiday season, Mary and I talked about this at length, and many times, and it was a close call. I mean, it could have easily gone the other way for all the reasons you’re suggesting.

You know, I turned 50 last year, and I’m realizing I’m — if I’m not in the fourth quarter, I’m in the third quarter of the chronological clock. I was governor for eight years and majority leader for four and have done a lot, and so you start to think about, ‘Well, maybe I’ll just go make some money and play golf and play hockey and drink some beer, and life will be good.’ But then you start thinking, ‘Well, how cynical is that?’ You know, to take the easy path, take the path that is just comfortable but is not as meaningful. And then you get inspired to make a difference.

But it was a close call, I’ll be very candid with you. It could have gone either way, and I struggled with the decision in the sense that — not that I don’t think I can do the job, or couldn’t win. But was it really right for me and my family? But in terms of any other notions early on, or, you know, 20 years ago or 15 years ago or something, I never really thought about it in concrete terms until kind of late in my governorship.

What Pawlenty Said [Time, via Ezra]

the alt text is keeping me from driving into a ditch. thanks noge!

Finally we have a Republican intellectual heavyweight enter the field.

Why couldn’t he just get a sports car or mistress like most men in middle age?

ok, so the rat already did the sports car, the ponytail and the mistress.
he’s 52, what can i expect now? this? tenuous grip on reality?

Probably. And maybe finding bottles of Viagra. (It’s my future I’m looking at too…)

ah viagra. the man gets woody from a light breeze, god forbid he starts taking viagra…i’ll send him right back to the sabra whore.

Fashion TJ: Shelley Oh wears a Betty Draper number when hanging with the royals. Queen looks to be about 4 inches tall next to her.

@SanFranLefty: again with the belt. i’ve never even seen a belt on her, she only wears a sash. WTF?

Maybe somebody pointed out to T-Paw that running AFTER Minnesota blows up from his “buy now, pay later” governorship might be a bit tricky.

@SanFranLefty: I don’t like the jacket…it distracts from her figure and breaks that nice long line she has. Looks dowdy on her.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Dress is probably sleeveless so she had to cover up for protocol. Short sleeves on that dress would make it look like a party dress for Sasha. In 1964. She doesn’t look bad next to the queen, but Duchess Kate blows her out of the water.

@Mistress Cynica: I think we mean Catherine, Duchess of Tunbridge Wells.

I thought our First Lady managed to wear an afternoon tea dress that actually looked like someone was gonna get some crumpet. By me that’s a good thing. The shape is to finesse her hips which are generous and high. She is a big strong woman and I think whoever dresses her is doing a good job. And pretty colors to distract from national debt and illegal invasion and the whole Yanqui bum sniffing thing. HRH, bless her heart, is only 4ft 2½ in sensible heels. As per custom she was wearing repurposed shower curtains stitched together by drunken sailors queens in the basement of Admiralty House.

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