“West said Obama was ‘scared’ to have a discussion with him. He later said ‘he’s heard’ up to 80 U.S. House Democrats are Communist Party members, but wouldn’t name names.” [Palm Beach Post]

Our guest columnist just admitted that “Springfield” is Springfield, Oregon, which we knew all along, since we grew up next door in Eugene and he grew up in Portland. Here he’s responding to a request for comments about a notorious daily panel cartoon featuring a family of single-nostriled aliens. Do you know how fucking cool it was to have a font of your own comic lettering in 1992?

June 22, 1992

Dear [Nojo],

Your letter just floated to the top of the pile of mail sitting on my desk, and since I have a couple of minutes to spare at the end of a long day before I take off for one of them Hollywood parties you’ve read so much about, here’s a rare reply from me.

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The Secretary of State of These United States casts the Interwebs into a Cosmic Vortex by contributing to her own meme, only part of which we’re revealing here, at least until WikiLeaks gets ahold of it. Adam Smith and Stacy Lambe are the merry pranksters responsible for rehabilitating her reputation.

A submission from Secretary Hillary Clinton [Texts from Hillary, via TPM]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7GzApUGJ3o

We were sitting on this for an opportune moment when we could deploy it as a Clever Metaphor for Something. Now seems as good a moment as any.

[via Wired]

Rick Santorum is suspending his campaign.

We tuned in late, but Frothy is surrounded by three gals and a dude. We’re not sure whether one of the gals is Crying Daughter.

Frothy is speaking from Gettysburg, but he’s using more than 270 words.

The More You Know: The sweater vests were Made in America.

Frothy thanks God for the “miracle” of his campaign. (We were going to say “miracle of his race”, but that didn’t sound right…)

“We were able to spread that message far and wide.” Oh, yeah.

Give it time… Give it time… Give it time… There.

[via Know Your Meme]

Welcome to TheRealGeorgeZimmerman.com, a new website where you can express your support for The Real George Zimmerman, who has “been forced to leave my home, my school, my employer, my family and ultimately, my entire life,” just like the kid The Real George Zimmerman killed, except for the fact that The Real George Zimmerman is still alive.

Our tour begins with an American flag in the background, signifiying that shooting unarmed kids is nothing more than a selfless patriotic act.

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