“I was out on a [oil] lease at one time and I got attacked by a turkey. Wait until you get attacked by a turkey. You will know the fear that a turkey can invoke in a person. And so I beat it with a club. That was all I could do. I wish that I had a gun with me.” —Oklahoma state senator Ralph Shortey, explaining why he voted for an open-carry firearms law. [Tulsa World, via ThinkProgress]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ng3clES_2qE

We saw this floating around yesterday and couldn’t decide whether it was, y’know, cool to post, and then we saw that Dan Savage himself posted it, and then we realized we’re getting really chickenshit in our dotage.

1. She doesn’t work for Obama.

2. She doesn’t advise Obama.

3. She doesn’t work for the Obama campaign.

4. She doesn’t advise the Obama campaign.

5. She doesn’t work for the Democratic National Committee.

6. She doesn’t advise the Democratic National Committee.

7. If you don’t know what the fuck we’re talking about, you’re better off that way.

The Hilary Rosen controversy is absurd [Plum Line]

Our guest columnist is Jim Gotto, Republican in the Tennessee House of Representatives. A local news story says that under his bill, “holding hands and kissing could be considered gateways to sex.”

Tennessee Code Annotated, Title 49, Chapter 6, Part 13, is amended by the part in its entirety and by substituting instead the following:

As used in this part, unless the context otherwise requires:

(1) “Abstinence” means not participating in any activity that puts an individual at risk for pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease;

(2) (A) “Abstinence-based” or “abstinence-centered” means an approach that promotes sexual risk avoidance, or primary prevention, and teaches vital life skills that empower youth to identify healthy and unhealthy relationships, accurately understand sexually transmitted diseases and contraception, set goals, make healthy life decisions, and build character;

(B) Abstinence-centered education is a holistic approach that addresses the physical, social, emotional, psychological, economic and educational consequences of non-marital sexual activity;

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Our Stinque Film Festival continues with this Felliniesque Hitchcockian entry from celebrated auteur Herman Cain!, originally titled La Dolce Pollo.

[via Political Wire]

We can’t tell you how many times we’ve asked, Where are the Great Existential Cat Movies? Finally, an Uncaring God responds to our pleas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqWyzzn4-xI

Allen West’s campaign manager takes issue with today’s report that Allen West finally said something batshit-crazy enough to make us drop our embargo on Allen West saying batshit-crazy things:

“One stupid reporter with a local publication misquoted the entire thing, and they all jumped on one press account without verifying,” said Edson. “It’s all typical West Wing marching orders for their friends in the press.”

To make his point, Mr. Edson submitted a tape of the quote in question.

Which, to our taste, only makes it better.

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