Our guest columnist failed grade-school reading comprehension.

Date: December 9, 2012 10:36 PM
To: god@www.stinque.com
Subject: Inquiry Regarding A Resource For Students

Hi there,

I happened upon your collection of college and career web resources for prospective students here https://www.stinque.com/2012/03/22/boy-in-the-hoodie and thought you might be interested in another authoritative online resource to add to those.

Read more »

Monkey caught after running loose in Toronto Ikea store . Not known how monkey, clad in shearling coat, got in #ikea

— CBC News Alerts (@CBCAlerts) December 9, 2012

First Bad Santa, now this. But hey, it’s an easy way to start the week for Stephen Colbert’s writers.

“I ran for president. I lost.” —Mitt Romney, auditioning for his American Express commercial. [CBS]

Title: “How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You”

Author: The Oatmeal (Matthew Inman)

Rank: 19

Blurb: “If your cat is kneading you, that’s not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness.”

Review: “The paper edition seems to work natively without any apps.”

Customers Also Bought: “Crafting with Cat Hair: Cute Handicrafts to Make with Your Cat”

Footnote: Wait, wait — Crafting with Cat Hair?

Read more »

“Oh, you’re wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs tuque. You shouldn’t be wearing that, they suck.” —Toronto shopping-mall Santa, now unemployed, to three-year-old child. [Toronto Sun]

The official Seattle Police blog prepares citizens for legalized pot today: “Please remember it’s still not legal to drive stoned, use marijuana in a public place or anywhere else smoking a cigarette is prohibited… The Dude abides, and says ‘take it inside!’” [via @JC_Christian]

Dinesh D’Souza on his Obama Derangement Fantasia being snubbed: “I want to thank the Academy for not nominating our film. By ignoring 2016, the top-performing box-office hit of 2012, and pretending that films like Searching for Sugar Man and This Is Not a Film are more deserving of an Oscar, our friends in Hollywood have removed any doubt average Americans may have had that liberal political ideology, not excellence, is the true standard of what receives awards.” [Hollywood Reporter]