Caligutard Throws Back His Pisco Sour in a Drunken Display that Repulsed Heads of State at the the Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) Summit in Lima. Is Hitler's Banker's Grandson Celebrating His Incompetence with a Return to Spewing Public Drunkeness Like a Dimwitted Frat Boy?

Pathetic imbecile Caligutard is spending his last days as president in a state of alcoholic stupor, grabbing at the juice like the self-pitying, self-deluded sackless bag of emu shit he is, all the while cackling in twisted delight at the unfolding chaos around him. The repellent weasel-faced sadist is, however, such a bundle of righteous self-hatred it’s hard to interpret what set up this latest exhibition of public drunkeness.

Could it be he is burdened by some sense of responsibility for leading America to its doom, cratering the world economy and driving all of western civilization to cannibal anarchy? Nah. Down deep, he loves inflicting pain, death and destruction and, like all Republicans, he wants to feast on human flesh, the poorer and more desperate the victim, the better.

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Insane Old Fuck Is Enraged When He Discovers Everyone in His Neighborhood Prefers the Mooslim! Your neighbors know you suck!

The Psychogeezer will be spared no justice for his twisted campaign, a death march of mendacity and fear mongering that would have had Goering and Streicher dry humping his legs and licking the scars on his lying face.

While the addled Psychogeezer may have taken Arizona in the presidential vote, his home precinct of Colonnade took a rip-snorting dump on his lumpy, confused fucktard face, voting 55 percent for Obama and 42 percent for the confused wife-abandoner and organized crime suck-up.

The Arizona Republic has the details.

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Caligutard Lunges for Michelle's Taut Delicious Derriere as Michelle Comforts Laura and President Elect Barack Obama Chuckles in Disbelief. "Everyone told me he was gay," Obama said, "Something about him and Victor Ashe being a thing."

The historic meeting of the Caligutard, America’s first mentally retarded president, and Barack Obama, America’s first mocha president elect, ended with Mr Obama pulling his wife, Michelle, away from the Caligutard when he lunged for her extended bottom as she leaned over to comfort First Lady Laura Bush, who lives in a perpetual state of suicidal depression from living with the president.

Michelle Obama jerked back suddenly when her husband pulled her away and she saw the Caligutard was displaying an erection that looked exactly like a donkey. “Ooooh, Pedro, he like you, senora,” Caligutard cooed.

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Barney the White House dog is reportedly a roiling cauldron of seething hate as far as anything Caligutard is concerned – hardly surprising given that the lame duck president’s likeability quotient falls somewhere between gangrene and Jeffrey Dahmer.

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Ever since former New Jersey governor Cristy Todd Whitman gave Caligutard the black terrier, the Secret Service has observed an air of tension, finally flourishing into outright disdain between the dog and the Caligutard. Agents confided that Barney regularly beat the president at Crazy Eights and always guesses the Jeopardy questions correctly before Bush could even sound out the answer clues.

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Daffy, Broke, Twice-Wifeless Joe Rages at Obama for Proposing to Tax Him When He Becomes a Billionaire

Joe the Plumber, the twice divorced babbling twit from Ohio that the Psychogeezer campaign has adopted as a combination demented house pet, economic advisor and spokesperson apparently keeps his head shaved because it makes it real easy to slick it up with transmission fluid and shove it up his own ass when he speaks, making him the perfect guest for Fox News.

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Colorado US Attorney Troy Eid Thinks Neo-Nazi Assassins Are Just People With a Drug Problem. Guy's either a dolt or a sympathizer to the white supremacist cause. Or Both.

US Attorney for Colorado Troy Eid earlier this year decided that the white supremacists arrested this summer packing scoped rifles, body armor and ammo while traveling out to Denver to shoot Barack Obama were really just fun-loving kids with a drug problem.

Sure. And, hey, gosh, there are all the First Amendment issues to respect here as well. What American doesn’t have the right to rave on and on about blowing away a Democratic presidential candidates and arming himself to do the deed, without harassment from an oppressive Nanny State?

Apparently, this kind of legal logic only works if you are a grinning fuckwit appointee of the Bush Justice Department who thinks Democrats are things you can get hunting licenses to kill. Shockingly, for Eid, no doubt, there are a bunch of legal experts whining away that those neo-Nazis should be put on trial for conspiracy to murder a presidential candidate in interviews conducted by the people from Raw Story.

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