Caligutard Squeezes Michelle’s Ass and Displays Donkey Dick; Obama Disgusted
The historic meeting of the Caligutard, America’s first mentally retarded president, and Barack Obama, America’s first mocha president elect, ended with Mr Obama pulling his wife, Michelle, away from the Caligutard when he lunged for her extended bottom as she leaned over to comfort First Lady Laura Bush, who lives in a perpetual state of suicidal depression from living with the president.
Michelle Obama jerked back suddenly when her husband pulled her away and she saw the Caligutard was displaying an erection that looked exactly like a donkey. “Ooooh, Pedro, he like you, senora,” Caligutard cooed.
Obama announced the meeting was a success as nurses hustled away the giggling, clearly demented Caligutard and injected him with mysterious serums.
“You know all those Executive Orders I was talking about rolling back? You think twice about remediating a body of presidential findings of that breadth. But then I met the fuckwit who signed them and my doubts vanished and my conscience was cleared,” Obama said.
“Anything that was authored or approved by a daffy fuckwit like this needs to be dismissed as either the product of a delusional fucktard or a stalking horse planted by someone higher up in the executive hierarchy than Caligutard,” he concluded.
Asked his impressions of Caligutard by assembled reporters, Obama paused thoughtfully and said, “You know the kid in 6th grade the bullies would fuck in the ass with a Zagnut candy bar – you know with the toasted coconut the shit would stick to – and then make him eat it? Yeah, he’s that guy.”
Michelle added, “Yeah, just the kinda guy that would have names for his dick and pull it out at a press conference. Stay classy, W!”
Before jumping into his waiting limosine, Mr Obama said to uproarious applause, “Ex President Bush will serve as my special liaison to Guatanamo. I hope to issue him with his own bucket to piss in soon.”