Caligutard Squeezes Michelle’s Ass and Displays Donkey Dick; Obama Disgusted

Caligutard Lunges for Michelles Delicious Taut Derriere

Caligutard Lunges for Michelle's Taut Delicious Derriere as Michelle Comforts Laura and President Elect Barack Obama Chuckles in Disbelief. "Everyone told me he was gay," Obama said, "Something about him and Victor Ashe being a thing."

The historic meeting of the Caligutard, America’s first mentally retarded president, and Barack Obama, America’s first mocha president elect, ended with Mr Obama pulling his wife, Michelle, away from the Caligutard when he lunged for her extended bottom as she leaned over to comfort First Lady Laura Bush, who lives in a perpetual state of suicidal depression from living with the president.

Michelle Obama jerked back suddenly when her husband pulled her away and she saw the Caligutard was displaying an erection that looked exactly like a donkey. “Ooooh, Pedro, he like you, senora,” Caligutard cooed.

Obama announced the meeting was a success as nurses hustled away the giggling, clearly demented Caligutard and injected him with mysterious serums.

“You know all those Executive Orders I was talking about rolling back? You think twice about remediating a body of presidential findings of that breadth. But then I met the fuckwit who signed them and my doubts vanished and my conscience was cleared,” Obama said.

“Anything that was authored or approved by a daffy fuckwit like this needs to be dismissed as either the product of a delusional fucktard or a stalking horse planted by someone higher up in the executive hierarchy than Caligutard,” he concluded.

Asked his impressions of Caligutard by assembled reporters, Obama paused thoughtfully and said, “You know the kid in 6th grade the bullies would fuck in the ass with a Zagnut candy bar – you know with the toasted coconut the shit would stick to – and then make him eat it? Yeah, he’s that guy.”

Michelle added, “Yeah, just the kinda guy that would have names for his dick and pull it out at a press conference. Stay classy, W!”

Before jumping into his waiting limosine, Mr Obama said to uproarious applause, “Ex President Bush will serve as my special liaison to Guatanamo. I hope to issue him with his own bucket to piss in soon.”


Ex President Bush will serve as my special liaison to Guatanamo. I hope to issue him with his own bucket to piss in soon.

Is that a donkey in your pants, Mr. Prezident, or are you glad to see the First Lady-elect?

That’s the first thing Bush has done that I would have done.

@redmanlaw: Wow, I didn’t notice the shadow. I will have to weave in something about the obscene erection that exploded from Caligutard’s pants during his attempted pawing of Michelle.

@redmanlaw: Would “donkey punch” be piling on?

It looks like Bush has a thin peen and a massive ballsack.

@ManchuCandidate: It’s from Laura kicking him in the nuts all the time.

@FlyingChainSaw: I actually feel sorry for Laura, in a way, because I have a bad feeling she’s stuck with the bastard because she’s his legal guardian, and the state of Texas won’t let him be at home by himself.

@rptrcub: Oh, she’s in another planet, drugged out to near paralysis. Likely she’ll take him out with a farm implement when they get back home and retire with the Marine marching band.

Reading a tribal court case called “Tribes v. Jonny Lee Stiffarm” involving carrying a concealed weapon. Seems appropriate for this thread.

We need to get to the real issues, like, which hairdo Talibunny will sport next.

Jessica Steele can’t wait to see what Sarah Palin does next – not with her political career, but with her hair.

“That’s something I want to talk to her about: What’s our vision for her hair?” says Steele, proprietor of the Beehive Beauty Shop and keeper of the governor’s up-do since 2002. “I can’t wait to see her and say, ‘OK, I’ve got you alone for three hours. Just relax, and how are you, really?'”

I think Princess Sparkle Pony has a new faboo politico’s ‘do to keep track of/make fun of once Condi’s out of the picture.

Hey Stinquers, I’ll be incommunicado for the most part the next three weeks but I do hope the level of invective escalates! It’s not a time to rest on laurels, there are still two months for Caligutard and his minions to finish what they started.

Fleeing to South America for the rest of the month, and I think the intertubes reach all the way down there but I won’t be hooked up nearly 24/7 like I am at home. Gonna get a good dose of the analog world, but I’ll try to send a pic or two to the next Jam.

Stay stinquey!

@Pedonator: Have a great time, and be safe, you sweet thing, you.

@Pedonator: Have fun, my friend, and please check back in with us when you can!

@Pedonator: Stock up on the Cialis/Oxycontin/Happy Juice. You never know, young man, when you might meet up with a Log Cabin Republican.

dearest pedo and mr. pedo,
have a wonderful time, don’t eat anything you can’t identify, don’t drive too fast, get plenty of rest and don’t put that strap around your waist other than your seat belt! you are loved, be safe and take lots of pics!
(i’m a jewish mother, we can’t help ourselves)
are you taking pedo jr.?

@Pedonator: Drink lots of amazing Malbec for me, eat lots of grass-fed beef for me, and ogle the hot Argentinian men for me. I hope my favorite restaurant in B.A. is still open…

@Pedonator: I’m sure you’ll be taking full advantage of the opportunities for bird hunting and trout fishing.

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