Plumb Joey Plumb.

While most of the media has decided it’s time to start ignoring Joe the Plumber, who is the most famous person in America or maybe even the whole universe, I will continue to follow him because I am a starfucker.
Joe’s official website is up. It’s called SecureourFreedom.com, which sounds exactly like many of the empty slogans that have marked the last eight years, but is different because the web site is awesome.  I highly recommend you visit every day.

Joe’s web site, which appears to have been developed in 1995, has exciting sections like, “Joe the Forum”, which is empty, “Joe in the Media” – empty- and Joe the Blogger, which is empty except for an add for Joe the Plumber’s forthcoming book. The book, called “Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream”, is ghostwritten by Samuel J. Wurzelbacher and some other no-name, and is also available in the “Joe the Shopper” section of the site. To make a long story short, Joe the Plumber is the most dynamic innovator on the internet and he is the real change we can believe in. [Secureourfreedom.com]

17 Comments

I can’t out Beck, Beck.
(I’m a Loser Baby)

No Octane in my mind and I’m out to whore the plumber
With the deluded big plans, negate the negatives
Plumber knicknacks with the chrome dome shiny style
Kill the brainwaves and put it in neutral
Home spun bullshit with a loser and the cruise control
Sarah’s in Juneau with the Nieman M.
Got a couple of tax liens, lying on the TV
Someone came in sayin I’m insane to complain
About a Barry victory and no thought in my brain
Don’t believe everything that you breathe
You get a fame whore ‘tation and a record deal you betcha
So shave your head at some place in the dark
Savin all your food stamps and fleeing from the trailer park

Yo. cut it.

Soy un perdedor
I’m a Fame Whore baby, so please don’t ignore me!

Soy un perdedor
I’m a Fame Whore baby, so please don’t ignore me!

@nojo: Joe is much more of a whore than Gannon could ever dream of.

@nojo: And well should he be. Joe is so damn hot, I would totes fuck him in an instant. Sexy hott, smart, patriotic Joe.

Who is he fighting for this “American Dream”? Will it be a cage match?

@blogenfreude:
It’s a tag team fight. His opponents are Andy Warhol and 15 minutes.

Getting emails from Joe the Spammer is just icing on the Freedom Cake.

Oh jesus what an HTML nightmare, somebody tell them that the indusrty standard is now ugly, unnavigable flash sites, and not this spinning-.gif-era Goecities tribute.

I was saddened that it doesn’t have an email list any more. It would prove a source of comedy gold, no doubt, once it is established.

@drinkyclown: spinning-.gif-era Goecities tribute

I Heart U.

@drinkyclown: Send it to Drudge. I’m sure he’ll find a place for it.

Aaaaack! The blink tag is soooooo 1996.

I’m looking for Joe the Sexy Webcam.

Joe will, mark my words, wind up in a porno. He’s the new Joey Buttafuoco, the new John Wayne Bobbit. He’ll be hosting the AVN awards next year, announcing the next winner of the best interracial anal award.

@Promnight: I’m guessing Joe will need a stunt dick as I doubt he’s porn-ready.

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