Joe the Plumber is Bigger than Jesus, Still

. . .all I know is that a simple question has turned my life upside down and more people know about me than Obama,” claimed the ordinary-looking American, wearing sports pajamas and T-shirt.

I couldn’t tell you what Sports Pajamas are, but Joe the Slumber Party Guest thinks he’s still a big deal, because he is more of an Important American Celebrity than President Elect whatshisname (it’s something foreign sounding, I think, like Balack Balamawama).  Wurzelbacher plans to set up an Internet Web Site -for which job he’s already nailed the wardrobe- that will serve as both a political watchdog and a charity.  While I would say that these are not very new niches to be exploiting, none of the existing web sites are attached to the very famous name of Samuel Joe the Plumber; he will obviously make millions off this charity business idea.

I don’t know what they would do with that kind of money, but I know what I will do with that amount. I will give more of the money to various charities for various noble causes because I am a modest and simple-living person and love to spend my fortunes on missionary things.

Yes, these are actual quotes.  And yes, Joe the Plumber will now redistribute wealth to missionary things, which is dirty. He is in the tank for Socialist President-Elect Balamalama.

Actually, his reasoning gets quite convoluted here. He claims he is not into redistribution of wealth, because:

“I am talking about redistribution without taking”.

Which makes absolutely zero sense.  And, at the same time,

“I would make money to some degree from this charity Web site”

So, he is into redistibution without taking, but still with taking.

[If I were the hackneyed, trite Sarah Palin observing this, I would probably insert something cutesy like, “Say it ain’t so, Joe!”  Instead I will just say, “Whhuuuuuuuuuuut?”]

‘Joe the Plumber’ makes plans to take his politics online [The Toledo Blade]

Making fun of the retarded is not funny, Marcel.

Oh, wait, in this case, yes, it is. Hysterical.

“I am talking about redistribution without taking”.

Obviously, his logic is that giving is not taking. Giving is giving, and he’d be receiving, which is definitely different from taking. Because taking is bad, mmm’kay?

Are you fucking kidding me? You’re not?

@Tommmcatt Yet Again:
Having gone to a school that mixed the special needs kids with regular kids I agree, but this guy fits Lewis Black’s definition of normal yet mentally retarded adults.

Palin/Wurzelbacher 2012!!!!!11!

‘Sport pajamas’? Qu’est que c’est ‘Sport pajamas’? Pajamas in which one plays… sport? Such as? Cricket? Cheap Boy, any ideas?

Hey, where’s the kid who knocked up Palin’s daughter? Does this mean the wedding is off?

No way. Sarah’s still the maximum leader of Alaska. Levi’s probably got a serious case of the Shotgun (wedding) blues knowing he’s stuck.

I’ve got Joe the Vice President, so Joe the Plumber can go suck it.

@Dodgerblue: I was asking people last night for the over/under on the wedding being “postponed” now. Nobody would take me up on the offer and bet that the wedding will happen as planned.

And another question, speaking of charity: When is Talibunny donating her clothes to charity?

Probably soon. If by charity you mean her wardrobe closet in Wassila.

Hilarious. There is already a joe the plumber website, operated by a real plumber in Amarillo, TX.

He’s selling t-shirts riding on the popularity of the JTP cartoon character.

Can’t wait until JTP (the Ohio fucktard) hires a trademark attorney to go after the guy in Texas.

That’s the fucking American way. JTP in Ohio worked all his life, beating wives, getting divorced, being used as a housepet by a crazy VP candidate, doing crappy trade work without a license and deserves to cash in on his hard-earned celebrity for making an asshole of himself in front of Obama.

I honestly thought any normal guy past middle school age would have stopped wearing sports pajamas in public, if wearing them at all. Joe the Plumber, get on the short bus to oblivion.

@AARPrick: Democracy means everyone gets to be a tiresome, fuckwitted narcissist, even completely fuckwitted tiresome narcissists.

@SanFranLefty: But what’s the over/under on when the sex video gets discovered?

@nojo: You mean the Joe the Plumber, Kristen Wiig sex tape, right?

I’d pay a dollar to take a shit on his face. Someone let Joe know his real career is eluding him.

@Lyndon LaDouche: The only thing that comes to mind is track pants, but I’ve never heard them called “sports pajamas.” Something is amiss in the Buckeye State.

@mellbell: See, my mental picture is like, normal pajama pants, but with little footballs and baseballs printed all over them. Adorable, right?

@Marcel Parcells: Ha. I have pajama pants with sock monkeys on them, but I don’t let reporters interview me in them.

Maybe Jeff Gannon and Joe the Plumber can team up and do gay porn with a neo-Nazi theme, or maybe an historical Nazi theme.

@Marcel Parcells: More like underoos for grownups, but Joe seems like the type who needs a giant logo of some sort plastered on him in lieu of actual personality.

Who’s handling his endorsement contracts? I’ve got a toilet accessory I’d like to promote.

@Marcel Parcells: @FlyingChainSaw: I was actually thinking about the Gannonesque angle, but Kristen Wiig will do. I’ve heard about those SNL post-show parties.

@mellbell: Sarah Palin once met McCain staffers wearing only a towel, per HuffPo.

RML PJs = black t-shirts with Metallica (2), Motorhead, Deftones or Tool band designs or a “Hope” shirt. No sock monkey pants.

@mellbell: Please tell me those sock-monkey pajama pants have little built-in booties I miss so much from my Garanimals years.

Sometimes I really don’t understand you Yanks.

@Marcel Parcells: Probably little green footballs.

@IanJ: He probably gets ‘learn’ and ‘teach’ mixed up too, i.e. “I’m gonna learn Obama real good.”

@ManchuCandidate: Teen-aged dad with pissed off in-laws and no job prospects short of working the oil rigs or salmon boats is such a dreamy future for the boy. Even money he ends up enlisting and shipping out for Eye-rak.

@Lyndon LaDouche: Sports pajamas are an article of clothing I thought still worn only by Eagles fans named Kallikak who roam free among the pines of deepest, darkest, incestuous south jersey. I always called them “retard pants.” They are ample, elastic-waisted, formless, somwhat billowing, even, pants which often sport a tiger-striped pattern in the colors of a sports team. They are favored by those among the morbidly obese who also happen to be aggressively proud of their deformity and often show their truculent fuck-you-fat-pride with that beautiful “strut-waddle” so often seen at Nascar events.

Andy Reid used to wear them on the sidelines, yes, in public, and on television, leading a generation of fuckwits to believe that these things are not only acceptable articles of clothing for public wear by adults, but also that they are “cool” and “attractive” and that wearing them would cause chicks to dig them and men to fear them.

@Prommie: Eww eww eww. So much worse even than the image conjured up by your description.


He’s a maniac, maniac on the floor
And he’s dancing like he’s never danced before

I’ll let Manchu handle the rest.

@nojo: Or they can recruit Talibunny and a moose and do a four-way and capture the all important bestiality porn market.

@FlyingChainSaw: I’ve been channeling your spirit. I almost said, “I wouldn’t take a shit on his face” to some folks who don’t know me well enough to expect that kind of language. Yeah, it was at the ACLU, and they probably wouldn’t have been too shocked, but I try to leave my potty mouth at home.

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