Post-Election Wingnut Roundup
We know that John McCain lost because he was a shorter, angrier version of George W. Bush. The wingnuts, however, have other ideas:
Ace of Spades – we lost because McCain wouldn’t let Sarah Palin drill in ANWR.
American Thinker – we lost because we nominated a Reagan Democrat.
Macsmind – we lost because McCain neglected to emphasize the fundamental tenets of the GOP: fags, flags, and four more wars.
Michelle Malkin – we lost because McCain failed to express sufficient hatred for illegal immigrants and anchor babies such as myself.
NRO (Byron York) – we lost because we needed a bigger boat.
NRO (Pantload) – as usual I have nothing useful to add, but I wish to point out that our tax system is more progressive than Sweden’s if you ignore what people actually pay.
NRO (K-Lo) – as usual I have nothing useful to add, but I shall express my fervent hope that John Bolton is the Republican that Obama promised in the cabinet.
Tom Brokaw (yes, he’s flipped) – McCain lost because his voters take up a significant portion of the nation’s square footage.
Townhall (Pantload) – we lost because John McCain failed to redistribute sufficient wealth to Joe the Plumber.
Townhall (Tony Blankley) – we lost because McCain ignored conservative principles – it had nothing to do with the GOP’s two unpopular wars, manifest corruption and managerial incompetence, a collapsed housing market that resulted in a 20-50 percent crash in the home values for most Americans, and a financial crisis that threatens world prosperity and has reduced the value of the average American’s stock portfolio by about 40 percent. Nothing.
Townhall (Wynton Hall) – we lost because nobody remembers the wonderful things unbridled capitalism brings, like breadlines, Hoovervilles, disease, and death … ah, the good old days.
Check out this quote from Gamblin’ Bill Bennett:
Anderson Cooper: I mean, if he does become president, and it still is an if, does anyone know what this means in terms of change of race relations in the United States, or perception of?
Bennett: Well, I’ll tell you one thing it means, as a former Secretary of Education: You don’t take any excuses anymore from anybody who says, ‘The deck is stacked, I can’t do anything, there’s so much in-built this and that.’ There are always problems in a big society. But we have just — if this turns out to be the case, President Obama — we have just achieved an incredible milestone. For which the rest of the world needs to have more respect for the United States than it sometimes does.
It burns! It burns! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
@Dodgerblue: Yes, those lazy blacks can’t claim discrimination anymore, because those rightwing fuckwads will be able to say “but look, one of your own became president.” It is truly a glorious day to be a racist.
@homofascist: Listening to McCain’s speech last night, all I heard was “Stop complaining, black people.”
Rush Limbaugh- Whaah-whaah-whaah Fairness Doctrine, Whaaah-Whaaah-Whaaah Core Party Principles, Whaaah-Whaah-Whahh Socialism, Whaah-whaah-whaah Fairness Doctrine, Whaaah-Whaaah-Whaaah WHAAAAAHHHHH!
Of course, that’s been the transcript for at least the past two months as well.
@Dodgerblue: You mean “One-Armed Bennet?”
Slot machine addict. You know how STOOOOPID you have to be?
@Tommmcatt Yet Again: Does Rushbo have a blog? I could add him …
…but it’s not for the faint of heart.
@Tommmcatt Yet Again: Yeah, I heard all about the “fairness doctrine” during my five minutes with the radio crazees on yesterday’s drive into work. I now know what Bush will write in that note he leaves in the Oval Office: “Ooops. I broke it, you fix it. George”
Oh, and I’ll go with American Thinker for 200, Alex.
@Tommmcatt Yet Again: Holy shit … if there was something worth mocking (and there’s not) it would be impossible to find – that’s one of the shittiest website designs I’ve ever seen. We are a Tintoretto compared to that shit (thanks again nojo).
@Tommmcatt Yet Again: That hurt my eyes!
@blogenfreude: It’s even worse if you actually click through to some actual content. I couldn’t finish reading a transcript, the incoherent sentences reminded me of That Girl.
It’s a long time between now and January 20. More than enough time to start two wars and stage a string of false flag terrorist attacks as a pretext to martial law. Not sleeping until the first 7 layers of executive management of the RNC are all being fitted for nooses and the Adkisson Brigades are scattered to the hinterlands.
Imagine what it did to your soul!
It’s their favorite boogyman, really, after teh ghey and teh socialismistz.
@blogenfreude: Self-interest. I’ve designed this site for an audience of me.
And after all that, Bachmann is still poised to win. At least we won’t be completely out of snarkable pols.
@Prommie: Playing the slots isn’t gambling. It’s just throwing money at the house.
Oh, the shine has worn off. My Obamahappiness has now been replaced by the Sad. First, the marriage amendment here passed as well. The fascist county attorney and sheriff here in Maricopa County were reelected. And now comes word that Napolitano is on Obama’s transition team. She takes one step closer to leaving us with Governor Jan Brewer (shudders).
Hello, cynics. I’m back.
@FlyingChainSaw: And that’s just for starters. George made his special announcement this morning to say he is going to work with Obama. I just assume he’ll try to have him sent to Gitmo. But I was already past annoyed at listening to morning tv twits rattling about how it will be to have the pitter patter of little feet in the White House. (Silly me, I thought of the new puppy.) OMFG!!! NBC was going on about kids and having the first black family in the White House.
So are Pundit Kitchen pics allowed? Do I send it to tips or god?
@Jamie Sommers: The lt. gov moving up in New Mexico if Richardson leaves is not a bad thing for me. Also, our new lesbian DA in Santa Fe somehow thinks I was an immense help to her underdog campaign. I just told people that her opponent, a law school classmate of mine, was crazy. Band member betrayal? Perhaps, but it was in the public interest, and true. His past record of punching out at least one of two of his many finances didn’t help, nor did signing up for the National Guard JAG corps just to get a “fatigues and M-16” photo in the desert when he was issuing building permits or whatever as a civil affairs officer way the hell in the rear echelon.
AZ gov = Albuquerque girl does good.
@becominginvisible: What’s a Pundit Kichen?
But you can try God for starters. We also have another Stinque Jam coming up Saturday morning, where everyone emails photos that get displayed automatically.
@becominginvisible: Ok, but c’mon. What’s not to love about seeing those two in the White House?
@mellbell: I am absolutely thrilled about Obama and his entire family. I won’t stop crying tears of joy for some time. But it all sounded so racist this morning, as if skin shade should make a difference. The difference will be having an intelligent first family. And a President who takes into consideration that one size does not fit all. I will also enjoy the girls growing up. I caught Michelle on Ellen after DNC. Talking about how the girls were slightly disappointed when it was Dad that they got to see when they came on stage. They were hoping for their favorite boy band and it was just Dad.
And I do appreciate the press talking to those who have spent part of there lives in this country being discriminated against because of the color of their skin. It will be so nice to have my anger on this country’s blindness of racism tempered by such a wonderful first family. And a President with a sense of humor.
Bush can’t leave fast enough for so many reasons.
@becominginvisible: I left Mr Cynica at home this morning (he’s off today, lucky bastard) channel surfing for live coverage of the puppy selection. I do hope they go to the local animal shelter.
@IanJ: And Princess Sparkle Pony reports that Jean Schmidt was re-elected, so we still got the cra-zee going on.
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