We know that John McCain lost because he was a shorter, angrier version of George W. Bush.  The wingnuts, however, have other ideas:

Ace of Spades – we lost because McCain wouldn’t let Sarah Palin drill in ANWR.

American Thinker – we lost because we nominated a Reagan Democrat.

Macsmind – we lost because McCain neglected to emphasize the fundamental tenets of the GOP: fags, flags, and four more wars.

Michelle Malkin – we lost because McCain failed to express sufficient hatred for illegal immigrants and anchor babies such as myself.

NRO (Byron York) – we lost because we needed a bigger boat.

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I’m sure more than a few wingers will claim the campaign timed it.

Barack Obama’s Grandmother Dies [BBC]

As John McCain wanders around the country trying to find a Reverend Wright that will work, the wingnuts are freaking (and yes, one is verbatim – speculate in comments, and no peeking):

Ace of Spades – Missouri will go for McCain because negroes standing in front of Greek columns make them nervous.

American Thinker – a careful review of selected bits of scripture reveals that not only would Jesus have been for the Bush tax cuts, he would have benefitted from them.

Atlas Shrugs – my knee-jerk racism has even destroyed my relationship with those liberals over at Little Green Footballs … oh well.

You want the wingnuts? You can’t handle the wingnuts!

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Cocktober sucked. To be more precise, there was no sign of the sucking, fucking, wetsuit-wearing, blowjob-inflicting, and kid-touching we’ve come to expect from the party of Bob Allen, Gary Aldridge, and Mark Foley.  But the logjam may be breaking:

CARLISLE, Pa. – A former central Pennsylvania county commissioner was accused Thursday of secretly videotaping men having sex in his home and using computer software to spy on another man.

Cumberland County Commissioner Bruce K. Barclay used hidden cameras scattered throughout his home to make 176 recordings of 13 different men naked or engaged in sex, the state attorney general’s office said.

Prosecutors charged Barclay, 49, with hiring a prostitute, a computer offense, unlawful duplication and 13 counts of invasion of privacy. He also was charged with a single count of illegal interception, disclosure or use of wire, electronic or oral communications.

I went to a pretty good auto show in Carlisle once.  More PA assfucking after the jump.

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Pamela “Atlas Juggs” Oshrey Geller is officially ready for a rubber room.

She has “proved” that Barack Hussein Obama’s father is …

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Shorter George F. Will:

“Shocked, shocked I am that my efforts to make selfishness a virtue by labeling it ‘conservatism’ have resulted in self-interested, ignorant Republican candidates who can no longer convince a majority of voters to pull the lever against their own interests.”

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard, and expertly deployed at Sadly, No!