“When I was a child, President Ronald Reagan was the nice man who gave us jelly beans when we visited the White House. I didn’t know then, but I know it now: The jelly beans were much more than a sweet treat that he gave out as gifts. They represented the uniqueness and greatness of America — each one different and special in its own way, but collectively they blended in harmony.” [Politico]

It’s no secret that the Huffington Post is really a celebrity-gossip site that dabbles in politics on the side. As Nick Denton didn’t say when he cut Wonkette loose, link-baiting political stories don’t pay the rent.
But we didn’t realize how insidious professional HuffPo editors were at their craft until this morning, when we read this breaking story about a pending Major Sporting Event:
Title: “The Day After the Dollar Crashes: A Survival Guide for the Rise of the New World Order”
Author: Damon Vickers
Rank: 22
Blurb: “The U.S. government is having its regular auction of U.S. Treasury notes. Here we go again begging to the world with our tin cup. Only this time the world says, ‘No. We aren’t going to buy any more U.S. I.O.U.s.'”
Review: “I got Damon’s new book as a present recently from my grandpa and was totally put off because the topic is definitely one that had never interested me before.”
Obligatory Glenn Beck Endorsement: “This is the only person I have heard who seems to have the total picture and the guts or the insanity to actually say it out loud.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UKz3GVrHI8
Our guest columnist this evening is not allowed to use a fork.
A mysterious, pale green figure seen in televised news coverage of the Egyptian riots has prompted some viewers to ask, “Could this be the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse?”
Dunno if anyone is a fan of the Ricky Gervais podcast, but this new show, where they send Karl Pilkington around the world, should be even funnier.

So apparently somebody who sells expensive things we have no interest in buying posted a Naughty Tweet about Egypt the other day, which angered many people, causing him (or it, or the Assistant Director for Social Media) to apologize and delete the message.
In case you missed it, an enterprising freelance publicist attached a handsome representation of the tweet to the window of the proprietor’s San Francisco retailarium early Friday morning. And to think, we had to make do with cheap photocopies during our guerilla-satirist days.
Stay Classy, Kenneth Cole [Coilhouse, via Boing Boing]
Delightful Aftermath Photo [davitydave/Flickr]
New York Jets QB “Mark Sanchez’s 17-Year-Old Lady Friend Has Found A Lawyer.” Just like Big Ben, but hopefully without the rape part. [Deadspin]
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @JNOV: Does blockquote no longer work?Huh. Guess not.
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh shit. “ Cuban state media reported that 32 Cubans were killed in the U.S. attacks in…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 So…. Does blockquote no longer work? Am I 2026’s only loser? (see blurb)
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Welp Speaking to reporters on Air Force One, President Trump said that “Cuba looks like it is…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 My mood courtesy of Rhiannon Giddens: https://youtu.be/M7PvWw97Cq0
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 A man who has his family and lackeys deeply embedded in every facet of our government is trying to…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 THIS IS NOT OKAY! WE’VE RUN THESE WAR GAMES FOR **YEARS**. SPOILER ALERT: A TON OF PEOPLE DIE.…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! WHAT. THE FUCK?!!?!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @ManchuCandidate: Summer definitely disappeared.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 BTW, has your favorite fundies gone to Ratpure?