Ben Makes Strong Bid for World’s Stupidest Quayle

“When I was a child, President Ronald Reagan was the nice man who gave us jelly beans when we visited the White House. I didn’t know then, but I know it now: The jelly beans were much more than a sweet treat that he gave out as gifts. They represented the uniqueness and greatness of America — each one different and special in its own way, but collectively they blended in harmony.” [Politico]



Thought this was a Superbowl post for some reason.

@JNOV: CB will be hosting Sport at 5:30 pm ET.

It would be a photofinish.

I presume all the flavors of Jelly Bellies are white.

That Ben sure has a way with words, don’t he?

@nojo: Feh. (Not to C.B.) I gotta get up at 3:30 AM — no Superbowl for me.

@ManchuCandidate: Heh. I think there’s a JB factory in NorCal?

Oh, come come, Fearless Leader. The Butter Popcorn jelly bean that Jelly Belly produces is a symbol of American ingenuity and intelligence. See, somebody concluded that Americans will buy, or eat, anything.

Incidentally, I have been woefully derelict in my Psychometer project. Real life intervened in a massive, unexpected way. Such has left me drained of all energy and verve. (No, I’m not dying or anything. But whereas I am usually smack dab in the middle of Flavor Country, I’ve been as bland as day-old toast lately.)

@chicago bureau: PM me if you’d like some clerical help. I’m assuming you have the goods but no time to tweet? In any event, I have a 4-hour commute this month. You can put me to work.

ADD: Sent you email with my particulars.

@JNOV: It would involve a lot of data-mining through the Congressional Record. Are you sure??

@chicago bureau: When you’re able, send me an email. I wrote to you through FB. Once I get a good idea of what you want, I can say for sure. I mean, Imma be on a bus, El or train for almost as long as I’ll be at work. Maybe data-mining will keep me from falling asleep and missing my stop. (I almost ended up in NYC once.) Or it’ll cure insomnia.

@JNOV: You are correct. I helped nail some of the operators for environmental violations. We got several guilty pleas out of it – one of the few criminal cases I’ve worked on.

Since then, no JB’s for me. I always think how appropriate it was that they were the Gipper’s faves, given all the crimes committed in his name.

@JNOV: The factory is in Fairfield or Vacaville. I forget which, the drive from Ess Eff to Excremento is always a blur.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment