This morning’s email blast from The Flunky to The Preznit of These United States:

Our progress is under attack.

Their majority is not even a day old, but House Republicans are already getting ready to pass a bill to repeal health reform.

Quickly followed by this morning’s news:

The Obama administration, reversing course, will revise a Medicare regulation to delete references to end-of-life planning as part of the annual physical examinations covered under the new health care law, administration officials said Tuesday.

Memo to House Republicans: You win.

U.S. Alters Rule on Paying for End-of-Life Planning [NYT]

“ABC News has learned that Bachmann, R-Minn., also is seriously weighing whether to seek the Republican nomination for president in 2012.”

We’ve been blissing out the past couple weekends to podcasts from The Nerdist — thanks, Apple TV! — and somebody mentioned in passing a classic Onion video we somehow missed the first time, but are proud to present on this, the first day of the Zombie Apocalypse 112th Congress.

OK, Stinquers — a quick contest for big money AND fabulous prizes:

Tomorrow, as Nancy Pelosi hands off the gavel to John Boehner, Agent Orange will give a speech outlining what he intends to do with the next two years.  We all know what he’s going to say, sort of.  But the big question is…

AT WHAT POINT WILL HE LOSE CONTROL OF HIMSELF AND START WEEPING?

Rules are simple.  When the handoff happens, invariably there will be a standing ovation.  As soon as that standing-o stops and he starts flapping his gums, the clock starts.  “Weeping” defined as (a) actual tears or (b) unplanned stoppage in speech for more than two seconds as he tries to collect himself COMBINED WITH acts incidental to weeping (deep breath, sniffling, etc.).

Put your predictions — quoted in minutes and seconds — in the comments.  The Price Is Right scoring rules are in effect: closest to the actual weeping time, without going over, will win.  (Addendum: taking a competitor’s time and adding one second would be frowned upon, yet be totes hilarious at the same time.)  Example:

A — 4:30 // B — 5:30 // C — 5:31

Actual weeping time 5:15 — A wins… and gets to play PLINKO!

(No actual prizes, of course.  So there.)

As I will be judging, I will throw out an obviously wrong answer and declare that he gets through the speech without shedding a single tear.  Not even so much as a manly sniffle.  The rest of you: put some real responses in there.  Bonne chance!

[CNN]

The Day the Seventies Died: Stuck in the Middle with You? Baker Street? Oh, now you remember.

Gerry Rafferty dies aged 63 [Guardian UK]

“Health officials say hundreds of people may have been exposed to hepatitis A while receiving communion on Christmas Day at a church on Long Island, N.Y.” [AP/WaPo; image via Worth1000]