https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN7uMitPHVY

Tuesday’s news of the Abstinence Congressman’s park-pestorking prowess and Bristol Palin’s “Does Getting Paid for Sex Make Me a Whore?” tour reminded us of a classic of the genre, Sonny Bono’s 1968 anti-pot school film. It’s too long for one sitting, but Sonny shows up around 1:40, and you can drop in just about anywhere for quick amusement.

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Our guest columnist this morning is Christel E. Marquardt, judge on the Kansas Court of Appeals.

In July 2002, Milano’s acquired a controlling interest in Club Orleans, a gentlemen’s club. In 2004, Milano’s designated their entertainers as independent contractors.

In response to an unemployment claim submitted by a Milano’s entertainer, the Unemployment Tax Contributions Unit of the KDOL [Kansas Department of Labor] began an investigation to determine whether Milano’s entertainers are employees or independent contractors. After the investigation, the KDOL auditor determined that the entertainers are employees for unemployment tax purposes…

The hearing officer cited Club Orleans’ house rules and concluded “there are sufficient indicia of control, or at least the right to control, that the facts of this matter point to an employer-employee relationship.” The hearing officer determined that although the owner of Milano’s testified that customers frequented Club Orleans for the “good atmosphere, good lighting and good food,” the facts indicate that the “atmosphere largely derives from and is based upon the presence of its semi-nude dancers.”…

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Making lemonade from lemons:

Rep. Souder (R-IN) and his mistress made a little sex tape:

Hard to believe she was fucking that little troll.

“A Jefferson County teacher picked the wrong example when he used assassinating President Barack Obama as a way to teach angles to his geometry students… The teacher was apparently teaching his geometry students about parallel lines and angles, officials said. He used the example of where to stand and aim if shooting Obama.” [Birmingham News]

The Palin family continues its quest to be the real-life version of The Aristocrats:

Bristol Palin is hitting the speakers’ circuit and will command between $15,000 and $30,000 for each appearance, Palin family attorney Thomas Van Flein said Monday.

Van Flein confirmed a report by celebrity news website RadarOnline that the daughter of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has signed with Single Source Speakers. He added her exact fees will depend on factors such as which group she’s addressing and what she must to do prepare.

Bristol Palin, 19, is listed on the speaking group’s website as available for conferences, fundraisers, special events and holidays, as well as women’s, youth, abstinence and “pro-life” programs.

Remember, kids, practice safe sex and wait until marriage, lest you end up like Bristol Palin, a wealthy celebrity who will never have to work a day in her life.

Bristol Palin to hit speakers’ circuit [AP, via Political Wire]

Michelle Malkin on the GOP Crapweasel Club: “Yep, it’s time again for my upside-down elephant again. Just when CT Democrat Attorney General Richard Blumenthal’s Vietnam fables should be front and center political news, here’s a creepy Republican to steal the ignominious spotlight… Seriously, can these losers stop yammering about God when they’re caught?”