Teabaggers Got a Scalp

At least the child molester mustache looks good on John Waters. This dude, not so much.

@SanFranLefty: Joel Stein wrote a great column for Time back in the day about his various celebrity encounters, and the bit about John Waters was hilarious. I’m going to butcher it here, but it was something like, “This is a man who wakes up every morning, shaves the top half of his upper lip, looks in the mirror and thinks, ‘Yeah, that looks good.'”

@mellbell: Joel Stein left out the part about how, whatever shaving rituals John Waters engages in, he made some pretty good movies, which is more life accomplishment than almost anyone else can brag about.

Also: does anyone need a more better more positive way to tweak the nipple of Dick Armey and FreedomWorks? Other than proclaiming truthiness?

Pedo: Hi, I just saw some awesome slander about the patriots who just want to secure our borders.

FreedomWorksMinion(FWM): I’d be happy to take your credit card number and enter you into the ranks of the True Patriots who defend our nation. With your non-tax-deductible $50 contribution you will receive a commemorative medallion depicting the White US American victory at the Alamo.

Pedo: I just wanna make sure the messicans don’t take my jobs.

FWM: Honey, they have computers even in Mexico, but really they’re just brown-skinned pre-industrialized savages. Do you have a business plan that exploits their relative lack of wealth?

Pedo: Yes, I’ve got venture captial to establish a maquiladora near Laredo, it’s gonna produce the little microphone thingy they put in the iPhones so people can talk to each other. I figure we can get messican folks to work in the factories for pennies on the dollar.

FWM: Pennies on the dollar? When you’re ready to talk fractions of pennies, get back to me. Anyway, I have a meeting in Shanghai tomorrow.

@PedonatorUSA: I used to have the biggest crush on Joel Stein in the late 90s.

@JNOV: Hey, did you catch Specter’s concession speech? Did he weep? Hope you and Jr. voted, sis. I should be there for the general election.

@Nabisco: Dude, it was two seconds long: “It’s been a great honor *voice break* to serve the people of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.”

Hit with the magic bullet.

@Nabisco: Yes to voting. Naw to Spectard’s speech. We were watching Frontline, and I was checking results online. Nojo gave me the news. Huzzah!

@redmanlaw: Keep It Tight, Arlen (warning, video make result in horrible 80s flashbacks).

@JNOV: I yahoo newsed in the middle of meetings just to see the outcome. I know that Ed is not so secretly happy that he finally went down. They hate(d) each other. I’m now thinking that Sleestak may be in a better position against Toomey – who I met at a hot dog barbecue hosted by Moms Nabisco. I startled the guy when I told him I “knew where the Black Helicopters were kept” – as a joke – after Moms told him who I worked for at the time. Good times!