See, we actually liked the Muppets on SNL. It’s not that they were funny — that would be a stretch — but that they were weird. So much of SNL was like that, until they built up a tolerance for the drugs. And then it became an institution.

All of which means it’s another slow news day, so have a link dump.

• Frontal Lobotomy. Health insurers are like beer companies, says Karl Rove. True — both give you hangovers.
• The Road to Idiocracy. Steve King (R-Cornhole) says gay marriage leads to socialism.
• Out Standing In Their Field. Fairbanks newspaper apologizes to Talibunny for “A broad in Asia”.
• Lunartown. Water discovered on Moon; Southern California immediately acts to divert it.

Folks of a literary bent are familiar with the story of how Max Perkins took Thomas Wolfe’s manuscripts to a rendering plant and walked away with Look Homeward, Angel. Or how Gordon Lish trimmed Raymond Carver’s work to the bone and invented minimalism with What We Talk About When We Talk About Love.

Perkins and Lish were editors, not ghostwriters, and their work is (or used to be) considered part of the publishing game. So we’re mildly amused by recurring rumors that Barack Obama had a Little Helper with Dreams From My Father.

Name of Bill Ayers.

As conspiracy theories go, this one’s definitely a letdown after our recent multiple Orlygasms. But since WorldNetDaily is running with it, what the heck.

Read more »

Jim “Waterloo” DeMint:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Eo9HJdMBEQ

This seems to have gotten past everyone:

WASHINGTON — The FBI is investigating the hanging death of a U.S. Census worker near a Kentucky cemetery. A law enforcement official says the word “fed” was scrawled on his chest.

The body of Bill Sparkman, a 51-year-old Census field worker and occasional teacher, was found Sept. 12 in the Daniel Boone National Forest in rural southeast Kentucky.

Remember when Michele stirred up the wingnuts? Wonder if there’s a connection.

AP Source: Census Worker Hanged With ‘Fed’ on Body

[via]

Since we have nothing better to do, and we may face other days like this, welcome to our new occasional mid-afternoon link dump. Because even we don’t want to see “Cock Teasers” at the top of the page every time we refresh it.

• Paul Kirk to replace Teddy? Too early for Star Trek gags, but we’ll stretch if we have to.
• Shhh! Eric Holder promises he won’t invoke the state-secrets privilege as often as Shrub. The Kinder, Gentler Bush Administration continues.
• Hong Kong Phooey. Talibunny remarks closed to the media, but since her speech was as tightly scripted as her Facebook page, you’re not missing anything.
• iPorn! Follow your favorite pestorkers on your iPhone! Oh, they’re clothed. Never mind.

Sorry, that’s the best we can do. Please, somebody out there, say something stupid.

It’s really that slow today. Unless you’re interested in long-winded UN speeches. Or you consider it news that Papa John Phillips pestorked daughter Mackenzie.

• L.A. Cockblocks Citizens
• Council Clamps Cocks
• Ordinance Targets Cocksmen
• City Puts Squeeze on Cocks
• Cockbusters
• Cocks Ring Los Angeles
• Cocks Around the Clock
• Noisy Cocks Disturb Neighborhoods
• Angelinos Awakened by Cocks
• Cock-a-Doodle-Don’t!

L.A. council limits roosters to one per household [LAT]