Karl Rove can’t even keep his personal permanent majority together — he’s been granted a divorce from his 24-year marriage in “no-fault” Texas.

“Karl Rove and his wife, Darby, were granted a divorce last week,” said [“family spokeswoman” Dana] Perino. “The couple came to the decision mutually and amicably, and they maintain a close relationship and a strong friendship. There will be no further comment, and the family requests that its privacy be respected.”

Why yes, Karl’s a Defender of Marriage. Why do you ask?

Karl Rove granted divorce in Texas [Politico]

Rove: Champion of “traditional” divorce [Greenwald]

Our guest columnist this morning is Charles Lincoln, former legal assistant to Orly Taitz. Not only did he help Orly with her filings, it appears he helped her with her drawers.

I do not think for two nano-seconds that what has happened between Orly and me is merely a “falling out.”…

Honest and righteous people can, from time-to-time, fall in love across “normative” boundaries of marriage and family. It was my belief that Orly and I were such people and I begged her to “come clean” and openly admit what had happened. My feelings for her were always entirely honorable. My intentions were always honorable. I was committed to her. She said she was committed to me.

Perhaps we should have ended up like (ironically) that famed French Socialist President Mitterand, mourned at his funeral by his wife and mistress crying on each other’s shoulders. I don’t know. I would have rather Orly left her husband because it would have been a clean break, and it would have accurately reflected how much we had in common and how much work we had to do on the mortgage front as well as the political front — fighting socialism’s highest ranking symbol (the President)…

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Stinque award winner Orly Taitz doubles down on the crazy:

What is the real intention of this Kenyan, Indonesian communist usurper? Is it to provide security for us or to destroy our security? Judge for yourself.

Seeing targeted destruction of our economy, our security, dissipation of American jobs, massive corruption in the Government, Congress Department of Justice and Judiciary, it might be time to start rallies and protests using our second amendment right to bare arms and organise in militias.

First she pissed off the third branch of our government, now she’s pissed off the second branch in the form of the Secret Service. Wonder if she’ll get a visit?

Orly Taitz Seems to Suggest Call to Arms Against Obama [TPM]

We don’t hand out Crystal Douchebags lightly. The awesome mystery of our most prestigious award is not just who will win, but whether anybody deserves the honor in a given year. Two-time Golden Anal Pear winner Joe Lieberman is an audience favorite, but are we letting recent events color our judgment? Sarah Palin seemingly has no achievement to speak of — besides losing and quitting — yet even her tweets command close attention. And what about Rush Limbaugh? He has no official power, and never will. Is he even worthy of consideration?

And the winner is…

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So many assholes, so little time. Joe Lieberman and Sarah Palin share the distinction of being two-time finalists for our highest annual honor, this year for their stellar work undermining healthcare reform. Last year’s Crystal Douchebag winner Dick Cheney should have been retired from the Stinque Awards, but like a quarterback who can’t quit, he kept trying to relive past fearmongering glory. Future Crystal Douchebag nominee John McCain continued to make his past indiscretions a mere footnote to his present assholery. And newcomer Joe Wilson made the finals with just two words — a stunning achievement in rectal efficiency.

And the winner is…

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For a year without wide stances, it was a surprisingly strong field. The Tiger Woods story unfolded like a classic noir movie, with new twists emerging by the day. John Ensign needed his parents to pay off his mistress. Mark Sanford got caught at the airport following a visit to his Argentine firecracker. And Carrie Prejean went from “opposite marriage” to solo performance art.

And Rod Jetton? You don’t know him by name, but “Green Balloons” should be adopted as a safe word by all right-thinking Americans.

And the winner is…

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Funny story: As soon as the award categories were announced, we got calls from reps for Bobby Jindal and Michael Steele, insisting they be named Teabag finalists. But they’re not really wingnuts, we explained. No matter, said the reps — they want to be seen as wingnuts. Fine, we said. Soon as the funds show up in our account, they’re in.

But there’s a difference between monitoring a volcano and being one. Just ask Chuck Norris, who will tell you that the only thing between the Virgin Mary and an abortion was a blessed lack of socialized medicine two millennia ago. Or Orly Taitz, for whom not only is the trial out of order, but the judge, the appellate court, and the entire judicial system.

And the winner is…

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