The Judges began their marathon pizza fest conclave with a quandary: While this category traditionally honors foreign assholes, an abrupt change in nomenclature seemed to invite stateside nominees. After much beer pong spirited debate over whether Jan Brewer merits inclusion here for her institutional racism and Death Panels, the Judges decided to maintain the integrity of the category and censure the Management for harshing their mellow so early in the process.

Punishment meted, the qualifying nominees were duly considered. Julian Assange managed to frighten the shit out of everyone in the American Overlordship, while pissing the shit out of everyone he came into contact with. Tony Hayward was the public face of the BP oil spill and pitiful victim of lost weekends. Kim Jong-il rattled his nukes, which helped revive DVD sales of Team America.

And the winner is…

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OMG, we’re so excited! James Franco has agreed to host our ceremony this year, and— what? They’ve sent only his hand? Jeez, this is gonna be awkward, especially since Thing’s lawyers are insisting on their contractual requirement that he be the Exclusive Hand during the presentation. Well, shit. Okay, look, put it on ice and send it back. Is Daniel Day-Lewis still available?

While our assistants are Googling the source of that last reference, welcome to The 2010 Stinque Awards for Achievement in Infamy, our third annual celebration of the best in bloggable beastliness. We’ll be here all day, presuming we don’t trigger a DDOS attack from petulant basement-dwellers.

First, against our better judgment, the Technical Awards for Nice People, a tradition we’ve allowed to flourish in a moment of weakness. Please, holster your tomatoes. Target practice doesn’t begin for another hour.

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This is my bedroom air conditioner with its blanket of snow … I love the winter.

You know that scene in The Grinch Who Stole Christmas when the Grinch’s heart swells up three sizes?  Yeah, that kind of happened to me when I was watching this video about Jim and Dylan in Chelsea.

[NYT: Santa Left a Forwarding Address]

Title: “40: A Doonesbury Retrospective”

Author: G.B. Trudeau

Rank: 67

Blurb: “This monolithic overview of G.B. Trudeau’s landmark newspaper strip is the most comprehensive book on the subject imaginable.”

Review: “It leaves out all the cartoons relating to Watergate, Reagan, Monica, New Orleans, Dubya and other politically charged times.”

Customers Also Bought: “Drunk Stoned Brilliant Dead: The Writers and Artists Who Made the National Lampoon Insanely Great,” by Rick Meyerowitz

Footnote: No Watergate strips? That would be like selling a Warner Bros. collection without Bugs, Daffy and Road Runner.

40: A Doonesbury Retrospective [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]

On the heels of Nojo and Serolf’s holiday music selections, I present to my fellow Stinquers my all-time favorite Christmas carol, “Merry Christmas from the Family,” by Robert Earl Keen, which captures a slice of Texas quite accurately.

Don’t forget to put the FUN back in dysFUNctional this year, kids!

Today it’s Gordon Ramsay’s Glazed Ham with pear and tomato chutney.  He’s something of an asshole, but his recipes work. I don’t have a written recipe, so the amounts are estimated. You can watch him do the ham about 1:50 in:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CF5c5U4HhKE

So here are the ingredients:

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