Selections from the IMDb “Parents Guide” for the new Muppet movie.

• A female muppet kisses a male muppet.
• A male muppet kisses a chicken muppet.
• A muppet tells another muppet to imagine an audience of humans naked.

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Give me the E-type Jaguar anytime:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_djTy3G0pg

[via TurleyBlog]

Our guest columnist is Herman Cain!’s lawyer.

Mr. Cain[!] has been informed today that your television station plans to broadcast a story this evening in which a female will make an accusation that she engaged in a 13-year long physical relationship with Mr. Cain[!]. This is not an accusation of harassment in the workplace — this is not an accusation of an assault — which are subject matters of legitimate inquiry to a political candidate.

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Newt Gingrich: “I think that we need to consider taking more explicit steps to make it expensive to be a drug user. It could be through testing before you get any kind of federal aid. Unemployment compensation, food stamps, you name it.” [Yahoo]

Ten thousand zombies gathered in Mexico City on Saturday to protest the 1% living break the Guinness world record, set by Asbury Park’s 4,093 Undead last year.

[via Raw Story]

“Genesis 17:24. Abraham was 99 years old when the flesh of his foreskin was cut off.”

A scene from The Brick Testament by Brendan Powell Smith, which illustrates Bible tales with Legos. Walmart-owned Sam’s Club pulled ten thousand copies of the book version off its shelves last week, issuing this statement:

“After selling this specific version online and in several club locations, we received numerous concerns from members and parents about the mature content for a perceived children’s book. Sam’s Club made a business decision to discontinue sales of ‘The Brick Bible’.”

But Smith is a step ahead of them — his website includes this warning: “The Bible contains material some may consider morally objectionable and/or inappropriate for children.”

Nobody wants to pay top dollar for the pieces of Big Shitpile still held by European banks:

(The banks want to sell their assets near “par”–the value the banks are carrying the assets for on their books–because then the banks won’t have to take losses that would further deplete their capital. The buyers, meanwhile, want deals, and they know that time is working in their favor.)

So now that banks are moving to Plan B, says Gore, which is financial engineering.

Specifically, the banks are packaging up bunches of crap assets, putting pretty bows on the packages, and then using the packages as “collateral” with which to obtain emergency loans from the ECB.

And as Spain, Italy, and Greece circle the drain, Britain is warning its expats to expect, of all things, riots when the Euro collapses:

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